Guest Forum

What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 02:20:13 +0000

Post the song your listening to:

Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo

Still cant get it out of my head from yesterday, apologise to the people in the room last night when I kept singing the same verse over and over lol, blame Hozemaat for sending me the song

New Member who can actually read !!!!!

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:29:53 +0000

We have a new member guys who can actually read as he has sent me a FR, so if you can all add Rian0 and invite him to a few games.

Welcome Rian0

GAME ON !!!!!!

Woman wakes up to find intruder in her bed

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:52:07 +0000

A Shocking Story really............

Enter the AUTO-TUNE guys lol

it's amazing what you can do with the "I am T-Pain" iphone app lol

Yay

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:57:09 +0000

Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds Leeds.

Festival!!!

Crackdown 2

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 08:53:54 +0000

Just noticed this on play. Is it worth a look at this price??

Crackdown 2 £17.99

Holiday

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 07:52:13 +0000

I recently went on a very expensive 'Once In A Life-Time' holiday.....

Never AGAIN!!!!!!!

Ba Dum Tsssssssssh.......

Back, and not going anywhere :)

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:14:37 +0000

Back from a very enjoyable weekend. Center Parcs is the bollocks. Plenty of food and beer as well as Archery, swimming, tree treking, basketball, walking and Laser Combat. The best thing i did this weekend by far, 10.30am Sunday morning, 24 people, a forrest, 2 teams red v blue and military style gun with red dot scope, the absolute bollocks. Plenty of camping in bushes and behind rocks. Only headshots register as the sensor is on the headwear even Dragon jnr enjoyed himself. Am now seriously in the mood for some online ass kicking UK-A style tonight, should be on after Liverpool give City a kicking, or earlier if it all go's horribly wrong, either way hit me an invite

ps thanks for the email nick was laughing about that

A Quick Thank You!

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:40:53 +0000

Hi,

Thought i would quickly pop over and say a big thank you for last nights HCSDL game! Was really nice to finally meet a like minded bunch of people who are there for the laugh and having a good time!

Sorry i had to leave a little early! Will defo have to arrange soem friendly games once the season is over!

Thanks again guys!

ZfG Mascot

Happy birthday mr fekoph

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:40:19 +0000

Happy birthday mate have a good one

MW better than MW2 Fact!

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 19:44:48 +0000

After endless bullshit on mw2, Jabba, Supe, Android and myself had a few games on MW and it was fantstic. I think ill be playing a lot more of that from now on. Anyone fancy joining me?

Sent from my HTC Hero using Tapatalk

New members ??

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 15:49:17 +0000

Any one know or played with either of these guys ???

DD VElocity's

1lasthope's

Or are they just for clan matches etc ??

Anyone ???

Elp!!

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 09:14:10 +0000

How do u vote up a post or a thread.. i cant do it anymore!?!?!

I Put The Gin In Virgin

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 20:17:10 +0000

And Then My Penis

we7

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:53:31 +0000

What a cracking site: http://www.we7.com/#/

Taking a break too

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:28:17 +0000

Except what I mean is I'm gonna break my foot off in the ass of the next git who takes a break.

You all on the fookin blob or something. I usually cure my Mrs' whining by threatening bum love not sure that'll work with you guys tho.

Seriously all you menstruating Mary's need to play more cod. Shooting stuff makes me feel better.

Anyhow ill stop ranting now, I'm off to the shop to get some biscuits for the 300 club, think I might pick up some kleenex and maxi pads too!

Sent from my HTC Hero using Tapatalk

Also Taking A Break

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:11:11 +0000

Have had fun lately mixing up S&D and TDM, especially the other night on S&D with 3, 1st kills in 1 game also ranked up 5 levels in the same night and ranked up a few levels last night. But then there comes a time when you gotta sit back and chill, so therefore i bid everyone a fond farewell

but only for a few days as i am off to Centre Parcs for a long weekend and will be back online Monday night

the "Thanks for your support " thread

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 19:25:35 +0000

em.....wtf????

please unlock that thread so i can make a comment in relation to it please!!!!!!!!!!!

TYPICAL

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:15:37 +0000

On a beautiful desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following group of people are shipwrecked :-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 English men and 1 English woman

One month later on the same island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage-à-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian woman keeps complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren*t having any fun.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman....

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:14:21 +0000

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.......but at least now she knows I'm smarter than her.

I love this advert!!

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 14:58:45 +0000

A slight aggression issue?

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 10:11:37 +0000

Saw this on a friends Bookface page and thought you'd all appreciate it.
One good reason NOT to buy Team Fortress 2! Enjoy.

Thanks for your support

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 23:43:18 +0000

Hey, as you can see i am making alot of members unhappy which is not fair i have caused a few arguments i no,its my personality i will say what i think. when your not havin fun anymore i dont think there any need to carry on i dont fit in anymore, anyway about the leagues i tried i cant make you all happy its not that easy i did explain i tried to find HCTDM AND STDM with no success i HATE HC id rather do STDM i also added when the leagues we joined finished [mid way thro] i will enter into different ones but obviously this isnt good enough. its not all HCSND and if spliss had LOOKED he would have found this out i didnt see the point in entering into 4 or so leagues as we MAY struggle for players not everybody can say o ye il be on for that match then not turn up. at least i offered to do it and now anybody think they can do better go for it, nobody will because they dont have time or cant be arsed but they have time to moan at my attempy brilliant well done. i got on with most of you and made some good friends so cheers guys its been a pleasure but time to move on to pastures new good luck to you all, all the best if sombody does do matches thanks guys catch you on the battlefiend UK-A

Dog saves injrued dog

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:24:54 +0000

LP VS UK-A

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:51:08 +0000

alrite lads jus came over from LP to offer up a friendly, they will all be HC search as we need the practice for the league, here are the maps

Highrise
Quarry
Karachi
Skidrow
Terminal

date and time will be; 22nd August at 9pm will call back later to see ya response cheers :D

Kwon

Happy birthday gore

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 19:02:43 +0000

Happy birthday mate

4yr gets neighbour pregnant

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 15:36:27 +0000

The man at the bar looked into his pint and sighed heavily,"whats up dan,"?asked the landlord,"its not like you to be so down in the mouth,"its my four year old son,the little b**tard has got our next door neighbour pregnant" "get away, thats impossible," said the landlord."its not"said the man,"the little b**tard stuck a pin in all my condoms!!!

don [jon]

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:01:27 +0000

not seen or heard anythin from him for what seems ages any ideas?

300 posts

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 07:25:58 +0000

wooooo show me to the V.I.P lounge

Worst first date ever...

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 17:40:24 +0000

WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car .

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could thin k about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Giggle time

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 11:49:10 +0000

Virginity like
bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in
front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in
pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give
wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass
should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is
left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put
husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails
to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on
toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in
glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in
other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator
smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To All Our Newer Members....

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:28:27 +0000

Have you seen the gallery?

i think all those, esp who have posted quite a few times and play every night need their mug shot in our gallery!!

COME ON!! ..what u scared of? Nick doesnt really do much dodgy with photoshop!

Wife Swap

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:26:18 +0000

two couples go away on holiday together, and the two husbands (Paul & Dave) decide to try and get their wives to wife swap one night, amazingly they both agree.Paul knows full well that his wife is on the 'blob', so he thinks he has got one up on Dave.

the two husbands agree that at breakfast the following morning they will tap their spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other ones missus.

Paul grins and taps the table twice.

Dave hesitates, thinks, and then taps his spoon once on the strawberry jam, and then three times on the Nutella.

Back by public demand !!!!!!!

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 09:18:05 +0000

well not really but after speaking with Chris it appears you guys wanna carry on with the clan, so we agreed I will leave it open and remain as Admin but the site and clan decisions will be made by someone else.

Chris will explain

cheers
Nick

The Future

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:39:22 +0000

Okay Guys after speaking with Nick it has been decided that i will continue to run the clan site etc, as Nick feels he has given it all his best for quite some time & I think we all have to agree what a great job he has done to make this many people passionate about keeping the UK-A alive & kicking when other sites/clans have failed.

So in the interests of the clan here's what I propose

I was hoping to have at least one if not two people who would also become administrators for the site within a given role.

The first role would be the important role of site developer for our IPB Forum. I don't think I need explain what the duties might be here.

The second role I was thinking of was a recruitment administrator once again I'm sure I don't need explain what the duties might be.

All I ask is that you think about the level of commitment & time required before putting your name forward for these roles.

I will start two separate threads for these new roles & tomorrow evening I will put those names put forward into a voting system for the whole clan to decided on.

Also I think everyone should thank Nick for all his Hard work & please try to respect his wishes by not contacting him regarding future clan business

Thanks all

Nominations For Site Recruitment Officer

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:31:18 +0000

Please post your OWN name if you feel you have the time & skills required to be the UK-A new site Recruitment Officer,

Roughly this sort of time tomorrow i will create a voting thread for the rest of the clan to have their say on who should fill the role.

Update I'm gonna extend the time to 7 & 8 pm 04/08/2010

At some point in the future this role may also include the job of our site subscription fees. But we'll look at this later on.

Nominations For Site developer

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 14:02:45 +0000

Please post your OWN name if you feel you have the time & skills required to be the UK-A new site developer.

Roughly this sort of time tomorrow i will create a voting thread for the rest of the clan to have their say on who should fill the role.

Update i'm gonna extend the time to 7 & 8 pm 04/08/2010

New member

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:58:20 +0000

Hi

My name is Paul I'm 21 from Manchester. I started in the gaming industry when I was 14 and played AoC. I then moved on MOHAA SH which was my first experience in FPS. I then played that for several years. I then quit gaming for a few years but occasionaly dropped on COD for the Xbox and kicked some ass. Now, I have started playing a lot more and I am looking to become more active.
I play CSS for PC and Cod mw 1 & 2. I'm real life mates with Goochy1990 and taught him all he knows (Don't use that against me, I know he's shit) And he's told me that you are all into gaming but are not complete and utter freaks. I have lots of experience in clan battles but haven't been active enough for a clan for the past few years. BTW I'm a sales rep for PC World - don't judge me! (Lol)

BTW My name is Paul but call me Eddie. My gamertag is Socks For Xmas.

Cheers

newww member

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:23:26 +0000

Hey every one my names Dean, my gamer tag is Goochy1990, Im 20 and im from Manchester, im an electrician and listen to stuff like The smiths, Joy Division, Arctic Monkeys and shit like that. was just browsing the internet n saw this clan and thought it seems like a pretty cool clan since there arnt any 12yr olds noob tubing everyone. Anyway yeh reply back and let me know.

Snipes

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:16:37 +0000

Village sniper...

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:09:52 +0000

Terrorvision Tonight

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:56:47 +0000

Won't be on tonight, going watching the amazing Terrorvision, doors open at 7:30 I am going at 2 this afternoon it's gonna be carnage I will be hammered, not sure I will remember much of the gig

http://www.uk-alliance.com/images/terror.jpg

Problems with your washing machine? Just call this guy...

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:10:26 +0000

Ever wonder how secure your passwords are?

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:16:37 +0000

15 thousand years for a desktop PC to crack mine..

http://howsecureismypassword.net/

Hi all

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 20:34:00 +0000

Hi,
My name is Michael Williams and am a member of an organisation called the DeathBringers. Although I am a senior member of this clan my gaming has taken a back seat for the forseeable futue due to other commitments. I do however run the clan Shop which currently sells Tshirts, Mugs, Caps, Xbo 360 skins and accessories, PS3 skins and accessories, Pc gaming accesssories, mousemats, keyrings and soon Hoodies. Although I do stock various designs from our clan and a few various design which are not clan related.

You may be wondering why I am sending you this email as your a member of another clan but I am here to sell my services to other clans who would like their own merchandise but cannot afford to. I can do custom designs on Tshirts, mugs, mousemats, skins and various other items. In return for your business I will reward you for each sale from your clan with 10% of whatever the sales is therefore becoming an affiliate per say. I would require an advert banner to be placed on your site to divert people to my site. I look forward to your reply and if you require any further informations please go to http://shop.dbc-forum.net I am still currently adding items to my shop so please bear with me but should you decide to go ahead with this then please let me know.

Thanks

Michael Williams
Treasurer and Director of Merchandise

Email: DOM@dbc-forum.net
WWW. http://shop.dbc-forum.net

Not forgotten you all

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:36:35 +0000

Alright folks

I have no internet at home at the moment hence why i have not been online or on xbox live recently. I will hopefully have this all sorted by the end of the month and be gaming again on MW2 soon. i miss it soooo much!!!!!!!!

Catch up with you all soon

Boredlands

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:45:16 +0000

ello chaps, I've talked Jaeger in to buying Borderlands so that we can do the epic coop mission together, does anyone else have it and fancy joining us? It's an awesome game, there's billions of weapons and it's a bloody massive game that I can see a lot of you getting in to, plus it's dirt cheap nowadays. Let me n Jaeger know if you're interested :-) )

back to work

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:37:28 +0000

not sure if any of you award but had my results from MRI scan and i have ruptured my cruicate ligament i think of few members have done this before i have been of work for about 9 week and have got to have an operation which is 12 week waiting list i am being hassled into going back to work i have said i will go back to work in 2 weeks but will be of after op for recovery but i am not sure how long the recovery period will be does anybody no any help be good

hi every body

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 15:43:57 +0000

im mates we liam n mat im 23 played with a few members this is wheres it at

New Member

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:48:01 +0000

Lo all,

After much nagging from Jabba n Co.... ive finally registered!! Ive allready played with a good selection of you! So i hope you can accept me into ur wonderful family

Passport Applicationn Letter

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:24:40 +0000

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-fucking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address !!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed
An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........ However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN !

Sincerely,

from You Sure The Hell Should Know Who.

Classic Alan Partridge

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 21:12:52 +0000

Hillarious...

Cazio78

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:57:47 +0000

has signed up but not heard anything anyone know him ???

New member: Suedey

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:19:58 +0000

Just to let you all know, a mate of , mine asked if there was any chance of joining the clan after he'd played a few games with some of the boys. Don't think he's logged onto the site yet but says he's sent a friend request to Nick. As you have guessed, his GT is 'Suedey'. So if you see him around, give hi, a warm welcome. No, Vet that doesn't mean you can use the curling tongues!

The spartan tactic

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 05:25:07 +0000

i watched 300 the other night and it got me thinking.....
a new and fantastic way piss people off in team games, i was thing about the riot shield and thought if there were 6 of us playing all of us use riot shields or 5 riot shields one gun slinger,lol and all stay close as we move round the map...or 5 guys wrapped around the 1 with guns...
just thought it would be an intresting take on the riot shield tactic.
anyone up for giving it a try might be fun to really upset some other teams when they just cant get to use because of riot shields.
thoughts on this please,lol

Muse at Glastonbury

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:59:30 +0000

Watched this before and it is AWESOME!! Take a watch if you have the chance.

Muse at Glastonbury

Ruined

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 16:42:17 +0000

HC Tournament

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 09:09:06 +0000

We are starting up a HC only league, this is for clans who want to enjoy sponge free gameing! there will be 1 game a week, and teams will play each other twice for the HOME?AWAY advantage.
There is more infomation at www.thehcpit.co.uk/news.php
This is on invatation only basis and we hope to see the UK:A guys participate! i will check back soon.

BeM Darkstar

Throwing knife match

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 18:06:51 +0000

had a good laugh last night exactly the reason why people should join the UK-A wondered if people fancied another UK-A lobby tonight

Pistol mess..

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:46:28 +0000

Sorry about the vid quality and for the dodgy screen angle off but you still get to see a lot of the action...

Gentlemen, I give you, UK-A Pistol mess

Chimp rapes a frog

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:27:59 +0000

Sooooo wrong

Best Aussie chat up line ever

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 17:36:09 +0000

An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'
The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,
' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

Stop-motion animation

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:43:26 +0000

Pretty cool

sapper1893 & Equalism

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 08:54:30 +0000

Two new members who have not posted anything or sent me a friends request on XBL, anyone know them ??? or are they another two time wasters ???

Prince Charles

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:47:56 +0000

Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.
Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb.
"No! Five pounds!" He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "One hundred and Fifty Pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her 'husband' on his jog.
As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner,
Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder
what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.
He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five
pounds, you tight bastard!"

Dell Streak

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 08:38:17 +0000

Mobile phone lovers/addicts. I'd love to hear/see some opinions on this thing.

Vet.

Advice and thoughts needed

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 09:04:37 +0000

could do with some adive heres the story. i have been with my missus for over 2 years, she is currently at uni in manchester. i see her at weekends friday nights and saturday nights she is currently of for three month i don't see her as often as i would like, we have spoke about me moving but the job side was a no go. we argue more than most because of the long distance arguing over silly things. her mother is totally against us me because she has it in her head that i am trying to get her to leave uni this is not true i never spoke to her about it and never would i knew she was going to uni when i met her i haven't spoke to her mum for a good six months and don't have any intentions to as she said to me "you should be dead" "waste of space" i think i did well to stick around after taking ALOT of abuse from her mum. i had the chance to go to uni but chose not to has its not for me. she is currently doing three years doing life science, she only has a year left. i hadnt spoke to her for nearly a week i just
felt that i have had enough of arguing not seeing her enoguh and just wondering what she was upto, then i went out last night and she was there i didnt speak to her but text her when i got in asking her to come up in the morning which she did i tried talking to her but its like talking to a brick wall she never speaks about her feelings, i asked her what she wanted to which she replied "i don't know" which wasn't really the answer i was looking for. i asked her to leave which took some doing, i got a text ten minutes later saying "you wan't to know what i wanted to say, what if i can't get a job after uni what if they only want people what are more qualified and i should have done more years . but i can't put you through another year.i could go to another uni but i like manchester" i feel like i am holding her back from doing what she wants i should engourage her to do what she wants if she wants to do another year, id like to think id be able to cope with it.i just don't know if we should call it a day and let her get on with uni. i love her to bits and want to be with her i just don't know if its right. i don't have the same phillosophy as her that you have to go to uni you have to get a good job, to me life is just to short for all that bollox i love my life 9-5 job going to pub with mates or whatever having a laugh and i wouldn't change that. i not told her not to do another year i wouldn't get involved, it may sound like a fucked up relationship and silly as it sounds its worked for us over past 2 years. i just don't know what to think anymore do or say. any advice, thought would be apreciated, i know some of you may not want to reply because you think ul be getting involved i just haven't got a clue. cheers fellas.

My Band!

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 21:30:50 +0000

Not sure if you all of you know but I study Music at uni and have been playing in a band for the last year or so. We've just recorded our E.P. I play drums.

www.facebook.com/thetinyeyes. You can listen to all our songs

You might not like it and im not particularly happy with my playing. But I was well out of practice (excuses) lol. But just give it a listen, were taking it pretty serious!

Cheers!

DON'T SHOW OFF BEFORE A FIGHT!

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 22:54:52 +0000

buffy's swearing keyboard

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 18:56:42 +0000

http://www.rathergood.com/buffy

A story with a happy ending

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 08:48:04 +0000

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. He walked up and

tied his old mule to the hitch rail and headed straight for the only saloon to clear

his parched throat.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and

clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun

in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying,

"Hey, old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did

dance. Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well,

you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the

old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started

hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still

laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the

saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled

shotgun and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too and he turned around

very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer

and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands,

as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir, but, I've always

wanted to."

Your Worst Nightmare..........

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 02:58:24 +0000

Great way to enhance your SEX life........not.....hahahahahahahaha

elBlandie

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:17:02 +0000

anyone know who elBlandie is ???

What a freak!!

Mon, 31 May 2010 20:28:57 +0000

Hahahaha

Mon, 31 May 2010 08:58:53 +0000

I watched intently as the other woman delicately slipped her fingers into my wifes pussy. Understandably, I decided to have a wank .............. Midwives eh? No fucking sense of humour

Caption competition...

Sat, 29 May 2010 18:30:47 +0000

http://correctopinion.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/1280-inbred-brothers.jpg

shiftyschulz

Fri, 28 May 2010 13:23:07 +0000

My names Chris and I originally joined UK-A a couple years ago when playing cod4 (I think it was when UK-A was first set up). However due to the red ring on my xbox I stopped playing except when able to get on my housemates box occasionally. I have just got my xbox fixed and been playing MW2 and thought I would rejoin so that I can play MW2 without having to listen to a load of 8 year old twats.

leaving clan

Fri, 28 May 2010 09:53:59 +0000

hi all , just a quick thread, thanks for all your time and effort, however leaving due to lack of gaming time. hope u all keep well. cheers!

New phone

Wed, 26 May 2010 20:24:44 +0000

just got myself a HTC desire running android 2.1, but i'm not very familiar with android!
any of you lot got any good tips or no of any goods for it?
would'nt mind getting that tapatalk and some M.W2 apps???!!! were should i start?
cheers chaps

Story i might aswell share with you.

Tue, 25 May 2010 09:15:08 +0000

Before you read this: Please don't judge me.

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's messed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy stuff went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to screw her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was messed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

mufc85mike

Sun, 23 May 2010 18:21:52 +0000

hi im mike i love cod but hate annoying kids which talk rubbish and sing,all i want to do is kick ass and i have been told this is the place to do it,please add me cheers.....gamertag mufc85mike

Black ops

Wed, 19 May 2010 16:20:29 +0000

just bought and read this months OXM there was a article on C.O.D black ops........ it sounds fecking awsome and apparently there will be veichles in the multiplayer and actual character customization, plus there is a mission in which you take control of an apache gun ship in vietnam... this could be a good one.

oh yea i am a tool i thought it was due for release in september as the date said '11/09/2010' but i have just come to the realization that its not out until november as the stupids yanks put the month, day then year not the day, month then year..... feck, lol

Check this for Bullsh1t!!!

Wed, 19 May 2010 13:45:30 +0000

Just had an irate phone call from my Mother (yes, I know! 35 & still living with my Mother. SHUT UP!!!) and she says we have a letter from the Council telling us they may investigate and take up to court because of a complaint about our dog barking.

Sounds straight forward enough, yes?

WE DON'T HAVE A DOG! WE HAVE NEVER HAD A DOG! AND THE CAT CAN'T DO IMPRESSIONS!!!

Top 10

Tue, 18 May 2010 09:56:43 +0000

Top 10 most unsportsman-like moments in sports

You gotta love number 4

Top 10 wired moments in sports

Top 10 wired moments in sports

New Member

Mon, 17 May 2010 16:31:58 +0000

Hi guys,i am a newbie,GamerTag is BlackWidow 282. been playing for about a year,however i have just swapped my console from PS3, too XBOX360, SO ONLY HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF GAMES. However,like fps,racing games,so hope too play a few of you. Married, 2 kids, i work shifts, so mainly online in the evenings, somew/ends.Hope too play some of you soon,in meantime,thanks!

Girls and Guns

Thu, 13 May 2010 07:09:42 +0000

thought this might make you guys chuckle.....
lol

Kick-Ass

Tue, 11 May 2010 19:52:24 +0000

There is a good copy of Kick-Ass which has just appeared:

http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5542444/Kick-Ass_%282010%29_R5_XViD-MAX

For anyone choosing their new browser....

Tue, 11 May 2010 08:47:48 +0000

Out of action

Mon, 10 May 2010 15:10:17 +0000

Was playing football with work last night, went in for a challenge landed funny heard a snap/crack so did everyone else around me. fell to the floor in agony couldnt move my leg, phoned for an ambulance but there wasnt any available [wank] so i got a lift to hospital had an x-ray done not broke anythin but have snapped my cartlidge and torn my ligaments in knee area very very painfull got grutches got to go back on monday for an mri scan. didnt get much sleep due to not be able to move and the pain so looks like il be of work for a bit lots and lots of cod. cheers to matt for coming to hospital with me and not laughing anyone ever done this before?

I Need a Handjob!!!!

Mon, 10 May 2010 08:26:59 +0000

Please don't get any ideas Vet.....I'm married....

strange pair of balls

Sat, 08 May 2010 17:57:33 +0000

paddy is planning to get married and asks his family doctor how he can tell if his bride to be is still a virgin.
doctor says,"we irish use three things for what we call a do-it-yourself virginity test kit...a small can of red paint,a small can of blue paint,and a shovel."
paddy says,"aye and what do i have to do with these three things doctor?"
the doctor replies,"before getting into bed on your wedding night,paint one of your balls red and the other one blue,"
"aye," says paddy,"is that it?"
his doctor says knowingly,"if she says,thats the strangest pair of balls i ever did see,"you,ll be sure to hit her with the shovel."

How much fake tan is too much??

Fri, 07 May 2010 19:03:28 +0000

http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/1/face.jpg

Nick!!??

Thu, 06 May 2010 09:07:54 +0000

Nick mate, I cant log in for some reason. It keeps saying my password is incorrect.

New Peter Kay Advert

Wed, 05 May 2010 19:18:55 +0000

http://www.johnsmiths.co.uk/adverts/

very funny

This is why I hate heights....

Wed, 05 May 2010 14:09:01 +0000

Wigan's got Talent

Tue, 04 May 2010 14:35:46 +0000

Wigans got talent.............. MY ARSE

oh dear

Iron Man 2

Tue, 04 May 2010 12:35:39 +0000

Went to see it this morning, defo worth watching. If you do go and see it, there is a bit after the credits.

RSS feed

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 17:34:29 +0000

Hey Nick,

Noticed that we've got RSS capability with the calendar; is it possible to have an RSS link that I can put in to my outlook so that I can see new posts at work without having to log in to the site?

New posts issue

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:43:14 +0000

If I click on New Posts, but then don't read the new posts, and maybe a couple of hours later reconnect to the site and click New Posts again, those posts previously seen are no longer counted as new, even though I didn't read them before.

Vet.

There’s Somebody in the Gift Shop !!!!!!

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 19:17:33 +0000

MENS RULES

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:34:23 +0000

MENS RULES!

We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, xbox, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Favourite movie

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:07:52 +0000

This maths test can predict your all-time most-watched film.

Mine was Forrest Gump.

Try it without looking at the answers.
It's easy and really works:
Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.

Add 3.

Multiply that by 3.

Add those two digits together.

Use that number to find your all time favourite movie in the list below.

Your number is:

1. Gone With the Wind.

2. Aliens.

3. Dances with Wolves.

4. Star Wars.

5. Forrest Gump.

6. Saving Private Ryan.

7. Jaws.

8. Doctor Zhivago.

9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Goats & Leather Clad Gay Boys.

10. Mary Poppins.

McAfee users, be careful

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 18:54:04 +0000

Just so that you are aware.

McAfee fucked up.

MW2 comedy

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:41:53 +0000

Never thought of doing this but will be setting up a class for when I'm camping that house!

Finally....A reason for Cold Calling

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:02:16 +0000

Thought I would share this.............

Mithril Reck

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:26:01 +0000

N1ck

Gamertag: Mithril Reck

The above has been trying to sign up for the site

He has joined me for a few games and I believe a few of the others recently

However the site states that we are not taking on any new members?

Not too sure how old he is though

NVG

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 11:18:06 +0000

Gamestation owns 7,500 souls of online shoppers

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:23:01 +0000

Gamestation has claimed that it legally owns the souls of 7,500 online shoppers.

It made the claim after inserting an extra clause into its online terms and conditions on April Fool's Day when making a purchase.

The clause read: "By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from gamesation.co.uk or one of its duly authorised minions."

There was a tick box to opt out of this clause but few online shoppers bothered, with Gamestation estimating that 88% of people didn't bother reading the terms and conditions.

Gamestation says it won't be enforcing ownership rights to the souls of those 7,500 online shoppers and will be emailing them to notify them of this.

Do you bother checking terms and conditions when buying games online?

Messing with people

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 16:07:15 +0000

i live next to pretty posh hotel in my town and its kinda out of the from the main town, and next to this hotel is a big field and car park.....hehe
well last night i took my friend and my night vision googles across the field to the bush near the bar exit at the hotel, and well as peeople were coming out for fags and there cars my friend and took great please popping in,out,up and down in the dark scaring the livinh shite out the drunk people...hahaha what fun, especially when the big guy comes out with his mates telling them how hard he is, and two guys with NVG pop up in the dark charge across the car park and send the big guy screaming back into the bar.
i no your all thing what a child i am and at my age i probly shouldnt be doing this, well it amuses me it was great fun...ok the missus wsnt impressed with mebut when is she?lol
so if any of you get the chance to do this its an awsome evening activity to give you some giggles, lmfao

oh yea i ama complete child..............LOL

Freakin' quality!

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 14:49:49 +0000

Havnt been on COD or on the forum as much as I would have liked these past couple of weeks so this has probably already been said. This iPhone tapatalk app is bloody awesome! It's infinitly quicker and easier to read the forum threads.

Nice find nick!

LIDL Car wash girls

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 11:26:00 +0000

SCAM WARNING.
In LIDL, while packing shopping in car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18 year old East European girls, in tight tiny tops.
They wash your screen with tits hanging out & ask for lift to next shop as payment.
On way they strip and go down on each other.
Then 1 climbs in front and sucks you off while the other nicks your wallet!
I had mine stolen last Tues & Wed, twice on Thurs and again today. Be careful!!!

my one armed mate

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:12:00 +0000

I saw one of my mates the other day,he`s only got one arm bless him.
I shouted "where r you of to?". "to change a light bulb"he said.
"thats going to be awkward isn`t it?".
"not really" he said,"i`ve still got the fooking receipt,you sarcastic bstard!

TFI Friday !!!! What Are You Doing At The Weekend ?

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 22:18:42 +0000

Lets see.

Friday night : MW2
Saturday : try and get kids vacinated, shopping, house cleaning, arguments about unimportant shite. MW2 at night.
Sunday : freeze to death, goto park, kick and hit kids a bit, MW2 at night

Vet.

We're Here.......

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 09:18:49 +0000

Shiny new forum looking good and looks like i got the first post in, do i get a prize? Cant rellay figure out all this approving posts business though. Anyhow im sure N1cks will tell all in due course. Good to be back anyhow. )

What you didn't know about Nintendo

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 21:17:05 +0000

http://www.onlinemba.com/nintendo/nin.jpg

I'm a DAD again

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:45:08 +0000

just thought id let you lot no, my son was born at 11.58 this morning weighing in at 8 pound 9 named liam patrick thomas.
Am very proud of him and pleased he is finally here, also i finally get my missus back,lol
so if i'm not on for a couple of nights its because i have another midget in the house to restrict my online gaming time,lol

FANNY LICKING FROG

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:34:09 +0000

Be carefull what you wish for

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:32:56 +0000

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'

Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the emu?'

The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.

The Teabag Game

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:46:58 +0000

This is why you should not revenge kill

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDeluxe4#p/u/13/Gbw87lTlEFc

Bored, so I did a Dr Who remix

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:40:48 +0000

I was bored in the middle of writing some tracks so I though i'd see if I could work out how to play the Dr Who theme.

It's not perfect and there's a few mistakes but I thought i'd give it a bash.

Dr Who Dat

Blow Job

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:13:14 +0000

Galactic Empire

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:02:08 +0000

Funny Video

firefox skins

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:34:22 +0000

for those of you using firefox and want a new background for it check out this http://www.getpersonas.com/en-US/persona/107481 im using the mw2 at the mo but there is over 250,000 to choose from

Members list pics

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 20:05:09 +0000

quick question...
on the members list how do you change the picture thats showing?
cus my pic is my old profile pic of my old avatar and i want my new profile pic from on here or from my gamer profile?

Ipod Re-fresh And Clear-out

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:58:54 +0000

OK! Im fed up with all the crap on my Ipod so am looking for some wicked albums to give it a bit of a refresh.

Anyone recommend me some albums? Im quite open when it comes to music so i'll narrow it down by saying what i absolutely hate then i'll try anything else.

I hate RnB, Any dance music your local chav is listening to, heavy metal.

Thanks!

Alan Wake

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:17:54 +0000

Alan Wake is an upcoming video game being developed by Remedy Entertainment. Alan Wake is a "psychological action thriller" inspired by Twin Peaks, Lost and the works of Stephen King. It is being developed for Xbox 360 and is set to be released worldwide in May 2010. The titular character, Alan Wake, is modeled after Ilkka Villi, a Finnish professional actor and writer.

The story will play out in an episodic format, with a television show-style presentation. Remedy has confirmed that Alan Wake is only the first season of a bigger story, opening the door for future sequels.

Light plays a significant role in gameplay and strategy. The enemies, called "the Taken" in the game, are sensitive to light, encouraging the player to take advantage of environmental light sources and placing significant emphasis on the flashlight as a primary weapon. Players also have the ability to set traps that illuminate when triggered, either damaging or temporarily immobilizing an enemy.They are then destroyed and turned into batteries.

Remedy also promised a free-roam, sandbox-style city, similar to those seen in the Grand Theft Auto series. However, in an interview with Finnish magazine Pelaaja and British magazine Edge, this feature is stated to have been removed, with Remedy opting to focus on a compelling storyline over sandbox-style gameplay. "That being said, this path that the player is on is quite wide at times and all through the game there is a lot for the player to explore, but it's not a free-roaming sandbox," said Sam Lake of Remedy. Despite this on the official website for Alan Wake, when Sam Lake was questioned whether the game was free-roaming or not gave the answer "We'll open more of the game world as the game progresses. The area is so large, that we want the players to become familiar with a smaller subset of the world, before we introduce new locations and new areas.". This has caused confusion amongst fans due to his prior statements that the game will not be a sand-box styled game. Whether it is or it isn't is yet to be fully clarified.

Alan Wake features a day/night time cycle. During the day, players may interact with other NPCs to find out more about the town of Bright Falls.

Buying this

REP

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:17:51 +0000

I was looking through the members list and noticed a reputation marker by peoples names, so peeps have no rep and others have some?whats that about and hows it work?lol

Tapatalk

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:44:38 +0000

I've been using tapatqlk on my iPhone but everytime I go into an old topic that's been transfers from the othe site it shuts down but it's fine with the new topics from this site does it do that for any one else? Or is a problem with the site or even my phone ???

The Expendables

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 10:38:10 +0000

Have a look at this

This film looks awsome and with the best action movie cast EVER!!!!!

Problems last night

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 09:43:30 +0000

My apologise to the guys i was playing with last night (dozza,rastaman,presty,nick sorry cant remember who else was on,lol) i dont no what happened, my connection when mad then my control pad fecked up then my bloody xbox went crazy! as some of you may of noticed a some points i was running in circules and backwards and forwards then i couldnt move or shoot,lol so i went off then came back and all seemed to be working fine but noooooooooooo after one match my connection when again, everything i did had a 2 second delay! iv had a fiddle now and fingers crossed that later when i go online it should be working fine,lol

Are You Reading.........

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 09:01:02 +0000

I just want to say hello to all the guest that have been browsing our site.

If your looking for a clan to join but aren't to sure why not join us online and see how you get along, we dont have trials or any of that nonsense. Just send a friend requests on xbox live to Loki the Seraph and Jump in . Or if you just want to know more before you register you can add me on msn j2kjames85@hotmail.com, and im sure the rest of the moderators will be happy to help but ill let them add there own parts to this thread.

Hope we'll see some of you guys online

User I.D

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:30:21 +0000

Is it possible to change my user ID to be the same as my new GT or is it set as is for life?

MS Points Generator

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 07:11:39 +0000

Just been to http://www.mspointsgenerators.com/

it gives you a code and if 5 people click on my code below i get 1600 ms points my code is

http://www.mspointsgenerators.com/?i=361144

Motivational Posters

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 08:57:44 +0000

[img align=left]http://i48.tinypic.com/2vbn6lg.jpg

[img align=left]http://i45.tinypic.com/14m7sk0.jpg

[img align=left]http://i49.tinypic.com/auw7rq.jpg

[img align=left]http://i46.tinypic.com/nlv05v.jpg

[img align=left]http://i50.tinypic.com/e9t28p.jpg

She Tried Putting Her Foot Down......

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 12:45:35 +0000

Came of xbox last night to get a ear full of the missus "your always on it" to my response "i work all fu****g day long hours [really] if i want to spend the night on cod i will" to which i got bla bla bla bla bla. so i reminded her were not married you no where the door is and if she doesn't like it f**k off, woke up this morning to get a text saying "sorry" she is coming up tonight so the plan is get hammered and play cod ALL NIGHT and ALL WEEKEND. EPIC FAIL.

GAME ON!!!

Old Arse

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:14:46 +0000

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.'

The husband replies, 'What did he say about your 52-year old arse?'

'Your name never came up,' she replied.

Near Death Experience

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:06:16 +0000

> A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
>
>
> While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing
> God she
> asked "Is my time up?"
>
> God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
> live."
>
> Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
> face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
> someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!
> Since she
> had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the
> most of
> it.
>
> After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
> crossing
> the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
>
> Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
> another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
> ambulance?"
>
>
>
> (Wait for it)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> (Wait for it)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> God replied: "I didn't bloody recognize you."

Boys & Girls

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 12:38:00 +0000

A teenage boy comes home grinning and tells parents he's just had sex for the first time. Proud dad says "I'll buy you that bike you wanted to celebrate, but it'll have to be next pay day though." Boy smiles & says "Thats ok dad, my arse is too sore to ride it yet anyway!"

A little girl in the garden with her dad asks ''Is that a mummy longlegs underneath that daddy longlegs on the lawn?" Her dad says "No sweetie, they are all called daddy longlegs." Dad felt very proud of her inquisitive mind until she stamps on em both sayin "well, we'll have none of that gay shit in our fucking garden!

Simpsons

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:17:25 +0000

Can you see Homer in this pic

[img align=left]http://i40.tinypic.com/nq4wlh.jpg

Honest Answer

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:07:11 +0000

This is a real tough one!!

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION:

You are in London There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realise who it is.............................................................

...................It's Muslim Cleric Abu Hamza (the hook handed bastard)
You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options:

You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Prize winning photo,documenting the death of one of the country's most despised, evil and powerful men!

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

Jerusalem

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:01:46 +0000

A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly. The undertaker said it will cost ￡5000 to ship her home or ￡50 to bury her here. The husband said ship her home. The undertaker said "but Sir why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money." The husband said "a long long time ago a man called jesus was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead....... I can't take that fucking chance!!

WIGAN TILL I DIE, WIGAN TILL I DIE !!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 27 Mar 2010 19:25:42 +0000

yBjpTKjAV08

this is why I had to work late last night

all good though

Stupid Chav - Ouch!

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:48:43 +0000

fsIx3DnrTYA

Yankeee Decked!

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:47:13 +0000

Not sure how i came across this but thought would share it

fl4Z4Ek_Jv4

Predators

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 11:44:51 +0000

Anyone else seen the Predators trailer? Film looks awesome, more like the original (not AVP shite either)

Sex Asbo ?

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 17:02:31 +0000

You've got to be fucking joking.

Epic Win FTW

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:37:37 +0000

Just found this site today.

Epic Win FTW

Shipwrecked!!

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 11:43:22 +0000

Three guys are in a shipwreck and become stranded on an island. They run into a tribe of natives, and the natives decide they are going to kill them. The 3 guys beg for mercy, and the natives say they wont kill them if they go out and find ten of any fruit.

The first guy, John, goes and finds ten apples. The other two, Joe and Jason, are away looking for fruit. The natives tell him to stick the apples up his ass without making a sound or else they would kill him. He got to the second apple and screamed, so they killed him.

Joe comes second with 10 cherries, and the natives tell him to do the same thing. He was on the ninth cherry when he started to giggle, so the natives killed him. Later, in heaven, John asks Joe, "Why did you giggle, you could have survived!" and Joe replies, "I saw Jason coming back with pineapples."

It makes me think of that carling advert

I'm Back!!!!!

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 10:27:04 +0000

FINALLY KAIZER HAS COME BACK TO THE UK-A!!!!

After 2 and a half weeks my internet is sorted and i'm back online! Didn't realise how much i'd miss it. It's just been so boring without it, finding myself going to bed early and not playing so much on my Xbox. I know it's knocked me ill

Well i'll just fill you guys in on what i've been up to:

Bought a few games on the cheap to keep me sane

Ninja Gaiden 2 5, pretty good game, hard, but challenging

Bad Company 1 10, quite hard, not quite modern warfare but in a good way.

Borrowed Fable 2 from my brother in law. Loving it, very involved and so much to do.

And i deceide to buy World at war and i think it's really good, enjoyed it more than i thought i would. Finished it on Regular this morining and played the nazi zombie level. Got to level 8 so not that good at it yet i'm considering trying it on Veteran but don't know weather it will be suicide

I managed to finish MW2 on Veteran too, i was so proud of myself actually found it easier than on Regular, wierd

Also Mass Effect finally came today after 5 weeks! 5 WEEKS!!! What a joke! But at least i got it.

Oh yeah i wanna apologise for my dissapearing the last time i was online, i joined a game on MW2 and Don said hi to me and i was disconected, my virgin cut off at the worst time Typical.

Well nothing else has happend in this short time, my life isn't very eventful. I'm so happy to be back and catch up on these 700 or so posts (i expected more to be honest ) i'll see you guys online soon.

Let the bollocks continue!!

I Am Fighter!!!!

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:54:04 +0000

Round One
w7gPoU8TFcE

Round Two
kcskAowacYA

Round Three
Ny-OHDcDB3Q

Round Four
8jE1cx0joZA

I am Blooper
hGWW9RszxpQ

I am Blooper 2
SSapOEAT4gw

XGL - Call Of Duty: MW2 Clan Tournament

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:43:07 +0000

Hi guys just a heads up that the tourney fixtures have been generated says i can't post links so go to the XGL forums then go to XGL ARENA then call of duty: MW2 Clan Tournament area to view your fixtures.

Leaked Follow Up To PS3

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:55:07 +0000

8AyVh1_vWYQ

Good Music Vid

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:47:23 +0000

qybUFnY7Y8w

Also by them

dTAAsCNK7RA

I'M BAAAACK

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:59:30 +0000

Only one more trip to Leeds to make now and thats not for a couple of weeks, starting in Branch proper on monday but at least i can get back onto my precious Xbox.

Who's playing tonight?

Indians Fly First Class

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:25:12 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/22/crazy.jpg

Log In Message

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 10:25:01 +0000

Won't Be Around For A While

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:27:24 +0000

Well i've just had sky tv installed and we are getting the phone and internet installed as well. NOT TILL THE 10TH OF BLOODY MARCH!!!!!

and my virgin gets cut off today sometime, think it's midnight, so i'll be without the intenet for almost 2 weeks! So there'll be no posting on here, no MW2 gutted! Just letting you guys know in case you think i've died or something. I'll be back as soon as i can and try not to miss me too much.

With Gamble gone, it looks like it's Don who's gonna have to take over as captain bollocks till i get back

See you guys soon

Is This The Most Dedicated MW2 Fan Ever?

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 03:55:02 +0000

http://img129.yfrog.com/i/7lat.jpg/

From fourzerotwo's twitter blog.

Can someone link it properly, I can't do it on my phone and can't be arsed to get laptop running again.

I'm Off

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:29:17 +0000

To Leeds today training for my new job. So I wont be online for a couple of weeks. Good luck to all in the 2v2, You can all rest easy now that you don't have to play me :D
Catch you later guys, Play Nice

Tech Support

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:11:25 +0000

AmD_8cBqhW0

6K4iTkXgwAg

2yTe6yEhgBw

SMikPO6q7RE

ELQoVSc_XzU

Back In And Around

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:45:16 +0000

Hi Guys,

Been missing a week or so then suddenly today i thought to myself.. Hey.. Where at a different site at the minute!

I feel a tad silly but hey ho lol

Anyone online tonight?

R1060

Lee Evans Tour 2011

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:16:07 +0000

Was a post few months ago about lee evans and when he is touring next, for those of you who don't no he will be touring again in 2011 BIG LEE EVANS FAN

1 Year And 2000 Posts Later

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:44:20 +0000

Well after 1 year here i've got to 2000 posts. I've loved every minute of being part of this clan, i've made some good mates here, and met some not so nice people *cough* Vamp *cough* .
It was you guys that introduced me to online gaming and without it, i wouldn't have had half the fun that i have.

It's been a great ride, and here's to the next 2000 posts

UK-A FOREVER !!!!!!

LIAM GALLAGHER WHAT A KNOBHEAD

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:24:11 +0000

lol

Brit Award

Xbox Live

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:38:48 +0000

I've heared some rumors that Xbox live went down last night and that microsoft has been hacked into?

Just wondered if any of you guys had heared anything.

Mouthy Black Man Gets Owned By White Grandpa

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:28:34 +0000

Fucking funny as fuck, gobby shitbag lol

lQJFv9SMSMQ

Sneaky Barsteward

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 09:13:28 +0000

5OCsSGIWRxk

Returning From Afghan

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:04:37 +0000

I've just returned from afghan, and was expecting a night of hot passionate sex with my wife, but instead she came out the bathroom with a towel on her head so i shot her. :P

Games.

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 00:22:29 +0000

Does anyone want to play some Hardcore Team deathmatch or Search and Destroy tonight?

Valentines Day

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:04:03 +0000

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a knife now get in the fucking van!!

FabricLive

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:31:51 +0000

Anyone like the mixes? Recent one done by Filthy Dukes is fucking amazing!

BARGAIN!!!!!!

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:31:58 +0000

Picked myself up a Playstation 1 from Gamestation today for an unbelievable 3.50!!!!!!

Couldn't pass that up, absolute BARGAIN!!

Son Wants To Drive

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:51:46 +0000

A young boy had just
gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father,
who was a minister,
if they could discuss his use
of the family car.

His father said to him,
"I'll make a deal with you.
You bring your grades up,
study your bible a little,
and get your hair cut,
then we will talk about it."

A month later the boy came back
and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, "Son,
I'm real proud of you.
You have brought your grades up,
you've studied your bible diligently,
but you didn't get a hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment
and replied, "You know dad,
I've been thinking about that.
You know Samson had long hair,
Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair,
and even Jesus had long hair."

His father replied,
"Yes son,
and they walked everywhere they went!"

This Should Be A Perk In MW2...

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:38:14 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/sniper_detector.jpg

Haha

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:35:25 +0000

School hasn't blocked the website, I can check all the shit from school now xD

Posh Shop in Liverpool

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:58:51 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/3/image001.jpg

Butterfly Tattoo

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:46:17 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/for_funny_junk0.jpg

Do You See What I See..... NSFW!!

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:40:52 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/00022960.jpg

You Know You Play Too Much COD When....

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:59:28 +0000

Your wife or kids are around, but you cant see them on your radar.

Your kids are sat staring at the TV and you start calling them "Camping n00bs"

You open your laptop only to see Windows Vista, not an overview of Favela from a Predator missile.

Keep the list going

One For The Pott Heads!!

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:51:03 +0000

http://www.jointen.dk/bigjoint/bigjoint/bigjoint.html

Haha Got It Off My Female Friend.

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:27:57 +0000

Why did the woman cross the road?
I don't know but why the fuck weren't she in the kitchen?

Xbox Live Gold

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:25:04 +0000

Need to renew my account soon, just found this website www.gamingmall.com 12mths + 1mth 25.99

These'll Keep Your Hands Warm!

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:40:57 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/41/bread_gloves.jpg

What the hell??

Got PC Fixed, I'm Back Now.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:30:20 +0000

Alright lads, PC is fixed now (thank god) missed posting on here, and the internet in general. I've had to resort to making conversation with the wife

Well now to get through these 244 posts Great to be back online

Teh John Terry Joke Thread

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 09:34:59 +0000

John Terry has done fuck all wrong...

All coaching manuals state:

"If the full back leaves a hole, it's the centre backs job to fill it."

---

JT Jokes

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:30:17 +0000

Ashley Cole was caught doing 104mph in a 50mph zone. When questioned by Police as to why he was speeding, he said " I have just heard JT is parked outside my house"

England manager, Fabio Capello phoned Wayne Bridge and said "JT's lost the captains armband, can you do me a favour and check under your bed"

What have Wayne's ex misses and 2008 Champions League final goal post got in common? They've both been banged by JT

(to the tune of Lord of the Dance)
"Chelsea, wherever they may be,
"Don't leave your bird with John Terry.
"Cos he likes a shag, he likes a bit of fluff,
"and he'll get your missus up the duff"

MODERN WARFARE 2 SUCKS!!!

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:20:30 +0000

I heard this on galaxy105 the other morning while driving to work as danny was taking the piss out of this kid but also relating to having smashed a controller himself while playing COD.

mQpcO8x6NNY

JZfTZMdWhLk

OKAY WIERDO

I Am Away....

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:10:26 +0000

Hello all,

Im away from the box for the rest of this week. Im currently skiing in the French Alps. Sweeeet

Heres what i got upto...

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/backflip2.jpg

And yes, that is me.. Hehe

Banker Caught Out

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:02:24 +0000

look at what the guy is looking at the left side of the screen busted live on TV

-9efpRPzv0g

Prank Call

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:20:31 +0000

1jkaqJMFmBs

dAXx-K7Ct7w

Gettin Worried?

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:10:47 +0000

here,s my concern...Three years ago,chinese calander year of the cow...mad cow disease.two years ago,chinese calander year of the bird...bird flu,last year,chinese year of the pig...swine flu.This year is the year of the cock...IS ANYONE ELSE WORRIED

Gotta Love The Irish

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 10:20:15 +0000

paddy had the following password at work:mickeyminnieplutohueylouiedeweydonaldgoofydublin.when his boss asked why he had such a long password he replied `Bejasus! are yeh feckin stupid? shore i was told me password had 2 b at least 8 characters long and include one capital.

The Real Borat!

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:02:32 +0000

http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir/

Catholic Coffee

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:30:32 +0000

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

[img align=left]http://i49.tinypic.com/2cprqd4.jpg

Saturday Night

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:26:31 +0000

was in a club saturday night completely wasted,and walked up to this beautiful blonde at the bar."DUCK MY SICK?"i said drunkenly"YOUR SO WASTED"she replied,"dont u mean suck my dick?" i threw up all over her and said"NOPE"

Book Rental

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:25:24 +0000

Here's and old one that some of you may have seen before but if you haven't its an absolute classic

http://forums.overclockers.com.au/showthread.php?t=648654

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/177/book2.png

How Many Matts ...

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:55:05 +0000

... are there in UK-A?

AFAIK there's me, Kiss My Whip and K20. Any more?

Most "Lucky" Gig?

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:33:36 +0000

Me and mates were talking the other day about what gig we feel most privileged to have seen. That was kind of once in a lifetime type thing. Just wondered what yours would be?

I'd say mine was probably Rage Against The Machine at Leeds Festival 2008, or the Arctic Monkeys at Leeds 2009!

Rages wins though...It was a bit epic.

My favourite ever gig was Kings Of Leon Leeds 2009, Got a bit emotional lol.

COD4 OR MW2

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:07:32 +0000

i vote MW2

Calling All System Of A Down Fans.....

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:01:46 +0000

WMKmQmkJ9gg

This fookin rocks

And how hot are these women? Dibs on the Blonde..

Favela Football

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 10:30:38 +0000

Me and my mates realised there was a football and a set of goals on Favela map, So we set up a private match and had a game of 3v3 footy lol what a laugh it was, we should set up a UK-A Favela cup 3v3 I rekon like!!

LET ME EXPLAIN!!

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:03:39 +0000

Firstly, please don't hijack other peoples topics, why not start a new one if you have something to talk about...

Secondly, enjoy....

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/41/weasel707_explanation.png

Interdico30

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:47:21 +0000

thanks for the replies bit of info

Name- Mike
Age- 32
Online most evenings and pretty much all weekend feel free to add me GT and looking forward to some games

Smart Ass Answers 2009

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 10:31:21 +0000

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

Arrrrgh

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 18:16:01 +0000

My Router blew up the other night during the middle of that knife throwing game so I am not only without online MW2 but also no F'ing Internet either!!!! I have to wait till after work just to post this.

They are sending me a new one so I should be back online in a few days.

Grrrrr.

Sherlock Holmes - Screener Copy

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 11:49:14 +0000

All downloaders there is a fantatstic copy of Sherlock Holmes availbale for download.

Is is a great movie as well Downey & Law kick arse

http://www.torrentzap.com/torrent/908723/Sherlock+Holmes+DvDScr+xvid+AC3-FLAWL3SS%5BNo+Rars%5D

Jacks Back

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:55:21 +0000

At last, 24 is back for its 8th Season Got hold of the first 2 episodes due to be aired this sunday. Awesome and defo worth watching

Dont Let Crazy Janice Look After Your Kids !!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:45:11 +0000

ntsh4Ln6Jig

Thats right LAUGH Janice LAUGH !!!! you crazy BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!

FAIL!!!!

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:54:47 +0000

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2010/01/06

Metro 2033

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:22:37 +0000

Fiz7aq0ppOE

Funny Calls

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:39:02 +0000

After the prank call to a wife posted before it reminded me of some genius ones I have heard:

Tom Mabe

J5z4Vs26-TI

W9nJ0rpAcqk

qm0WMmZGp80

A Few Adverts

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:21:15 +0000

xY-KAI_tuiM

NLY7qn654eU

I love that last one

funny phone call

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:19:31 +0000

1piuJzS7H-4

MSN Messenger

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:32:00 +0000

If anyone has MSN post your addys here for people to add.

Mine is - borat_from_kazakstan@hotmail.co.uk

How Not To Be Seen (call of duty 4)

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:29:38 +0000

eaftInAEwpc&feature=fvw

A Perfect Getaway

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 16:36:44 +0000

I dont know if any of you caught this when it first came out..but I would recommend a viewing.

Timothy Olyphant is badass in this movie and acts the way Bill Paxton used to in his glory days.

Its hudson reborn into a different character...check it out

izudtkH3rkU

MW2 Advert

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 16:31:32 +0000

nUgwhYsnvUQ

Smoking Aces 2 - Assassins Ball

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 10:02:28 +0000

JdT4xImXmjM

Worth a D/L and watch, Lacks the punch of the 1st, and lacks the kill scenes of the 1st, especially the Barrett .50 kill scenes. Also short at 88mins.

Them Crooked Vultures

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:32:04 +0000

a friend in work told me about these,they are friggin awesome

check out who's in it WYYdli0P8YI

Los Colorados

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:47:16 +0000

Saw these guys on Rude Tube. Class!

1upZz3a-7iM

Dragon Age : Origins

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:12:58 +0000

Anyone got this? Whats it like? Was thinking about getting this......Eventually.

Top Blazers

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:59:17 +0000

just noticed this guy is signed up to the website he was in one of our games last night and i am sure someone said he was in the clan at the start, can anyone confirm this i didnt realise he had signed up to the website when he was in the game?

It's Been A Long Time Coming....

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:34:59 +0000

Got my first Tactical nuke today at long fooking last. Hope there are plenty more to come.

Malakai

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:57:40 +0000

Malakai - Ugly Side Of Love

A realist blend of scratches, samples, sixties pop, psychedelic rock, soul, breaks and beats!!

I have been listening to this album for the past year and love it.

Don't know why they haven't taken off but one for you to check out

xgEjTpJBJPw

Ice Skating Cars!

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 11:16:02 +0000

Some of you may have seen this already, but i have just seen it and had to post it. Made me 'LMAO' for ages.

Lvp-MMsSleQ

or if you prefer some music with it?...

Noline Gaming

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:23:03 +0000

iv played a couple of times online witha couple of you guys, and i just want to say cheers they were a fun few games and you guys seem like a god buch to play with

Guess Her ...

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:42:14 +0000

Well, I posted a bit too much today, so hopefully this one will make amends. NSFW

Guess Her Muff

Vet.

Talent

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:46:40 +0000

In another forum, there was a thread about artists with talent. We've all heard KT Tunstall's song Black Horse And The Cherry Tree, but have you seen this performance of it on Jools Holland. Fantastic.

pdu_IWxSSk4

Catchy Tune!!

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:47:24 +0000

Owl City - Fireflies

What a catchy tune, i cant get enough

Zr9EKJatJvA

and i cant make the you tube link work

Yeah ya can, if you copy the letters in the URL after the equals symbol (CATcXiQUORY) then click on the 'Youtube' button on your reply it'll open up a box, take out the 'ID' bit and paste in the letters, Bobs your uncle

WOW

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:01:14 +0000

[video width=320 height=240]http://www.uk-alliance.com/images/wow.wmv[/video]

Wahoo

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:33:54 +0000

just noticed i have overtaken ped in the post count!!!!

New Members

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:32:38 +0000

Noticed we have 7 new members who have not yet posted?

Happy New Year

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 13:12:36 +0000

To one and all, just got back from a Gurkha Curry and had far too many Gurkha beers but fuck it, its all good.

Happy new year UK Alliance. Best Clan in the history of clans.

Frank Sinatra

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:20:54 +0000

Strangers on my Flight

Epic Parking Fail

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 10:00:06 +0000

WX9re5F8e8o&NR=1

Pavelow Song

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:46:22 +0000

--xnPk1wExQ

Instead of "go baby go baby go"

It should be "go Pavelow go Pavelow go" "dont upset my killing yo"

Titty Song

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:14:48 +0000

Titty Song

Added after 10 minutes:

Ultimate Love Song

Creepy

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 18:16:23 +0000

5huPDklrc-Q

ssssshhhhhhh Nobody will notice..........

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 10:48:32 +0000

Invites

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:38:13 +0000

Just want to let you guys know i might not be able to accept most invites as i have been asked to join a team on GameBattles and will be competing with them as UK-A dont have a team or a team not really keen on GB,

This dont mean i will not play with you guys as i have good friends here, i am only playing GB matches with another group of players so its no big deal

Any way i still not yet seen what the attitude of this team is like yet so who knows they might be complete arse holes.

Hope to see you around guys and i hope i can stay active on the forums.

Zi.

Modern Warfare 3 Announcement

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 10:54:21 +0000

Here ya go

9j1wRTXDb2I

Nintendo Wii (black)

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:33:05 +0000

Ped or anyone else who may be able to help advise

Where can I get the best deal for a nintendo wii black limited edition? my step dad wants to buy one, best offer I have found yet is play.com 164.99

Fart Football

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:18:35 +0000

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"1-0."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Goal, 1-1!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"What a Goal, I'm ahead 2 to 1!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Oh yes Another Goal, 2-2!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Penalty, I lead 3 to 2!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

Arthur And The Revenge Of Maltazard

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:32:59 +0000

Uh ... don't go see it.

Its shite.

Oh, don't take the kids to see it either. Its really shite. Grab a torrent instead.

Vet.

The Mobile Claymore

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:52:57 +0000

I was out & about in durham the other day just round the corner from our resident claymore fanatic when this pulled out in front of me & freaked me out !!!

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/8/ped.jpg

Jesus H Christ Ped is Mobile

Pictures

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:53:17 +0000

Hey guys

As you can see in the Gallery section we have a members pics section; any of you fancy posting a picture of yourselves? Preferably fully clothed and not mollesting a barnyard anmal or whatever it is that some of you like to do

If you fancy it then just reply to this topic (not 'quick reply' though) then you have the option to add a picture amongst the options at the top!

To go to the members section click here: HEART BREAKERS AND LIFE TAKERS

Arshavin At Anfield

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:43:11 +0000

rrw4IlKRPmc

Soundclash

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:11:56 +0000

Im envoking the back up clause of clan membership and callining in the musical knowledge of my UK-A brethrin. Every year The Chops and friends get together and have Mini Christmas, the Christmas that we want without all the family fueds etc.

This year the soundclash has been introduced which consits of 30 tracks with themes 5 themes chosen by each person, the list is as follows any suggestions welcome

to rob a bank to
an anthem for you now
to goal celebrate to
has yor personality
makes you laugh
guilty pleasure
stuck in your head
sing along but dont know the words
brit pop
boyband
best key change
retro cheese
instigate revolution
when your stressed
inapropriate for a 1st date
movie happy ending
fitness training
halloween
summer road trip
build up to night out
best tv theme
every one knows the words to
get you on the dancefloor everytime
only dance to when pissed
sun bathe
clean house
single and lonely
fallen in love

yes the last few were shosen by a sad female

away you go quite intrigued as to what twisted mess will come out of this

Xbox Live Avatar

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:40:05 +0000

My xbox live avatar has not updated on the website in ages does this effect anyone else?

Im not too bothered but im still in my summer outfit and its nearly xmas

Avatar 3D

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:50:44 +0000

Coming soon

Visually stunning, James Cameron has done a wicked job. Film length is 2hrs 20min, but i did not find this too long, i could have easily sat thought this for 3hrs. Story is the usual, big corporation want minerals which happen to be under tribal homes, seek a peaceful solution or blow the fuckers up. Not hard to guess what happens. Not gonna say any more.

3d is a must.

Oh yea and Michelle Rodriguez

Game Of The Decade

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:06:26 +0000

Game of the Decade

Gamasutra is asking its users to vote for their 'Game Of The Decade' -- the video game title that they think was the absolute best of the last ten years, from January 2000 to date.

Well?

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 10:13:23 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/41/8c59ac7b_chucknorris.jpg

Wont Be Around Much This Week!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:29:40 +0000

will not be around much this week due to work commitments just thought i would let you guys know but if you still what to chat you can add my MSN (if you have MSN)

flyingpanda2@hotmail.co.uk

Sorry Guys :(

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:53:58 +0000

It has been fucking ages since I have been on, due to the fact that i'm working near enough non stop. I haven't forgotten about any of you, as you're all sick fuckers that deserve a place in my heart I got one night off tonight and thats it until xmas day which I have refused to work because I get fuck all thanks for it.

I'm on for a big session tonight, anyone care to join me?

Much love, Mully

FAO MR TAYLOR MERRY CHRISTMAS

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:03:16 +0000

bX1hDJBwoPc

miserable sod !!!!!!!

World Of Warcraft

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:36:35 +0000

Was told a funny story about a World of Warcraft fanatic who lives a couple of streets away, not sure how true it is but it made me laugh.....

This family has a son who is not all there, (a few sandwiches short of a picnic) anyway he works at a charity shop in Wigan, one night last week he came home from work covered in scatches and bruises, his mum asked him what had happeded to him, he told her is was a secret and ran upstairs to his room, later that night his dad came home from work and his wife said you better go and speak to your son something has happended and hes not for telling me what. so the dad went upstairs and demanded his son to tell him what had happened to him, his son said it was a secret but he would tell him, he then told his dad he had captured a Goblin in the shed.

That morning while at work a midget (exceptionally short person) walked into the charity shop and started to look around. now the son who had never seen a midget before, spotted him in the shop and shouted "GOBLIN" ran over to the midget picked him up and while the midget was kicking and screaming ran all the way home and locked him in the shed.

made me laugh

Choose Your Best Man Wisely!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:35:22 +0000

FLoWOyIwejM

Resident Evil 5

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:37:29 +0000

Score: 8/10

Goods: Arguable the best visual on the 360. Game play is faithful to RE4. Coop is a lot of fun.

Bads: Bollock busting inventory system. Feels like a retread of RE4.

Overall: Still great, but a shadow of its former self.

ILuP43jcaXw

Icp

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:56:21 +0000

loving these guy's atm Z7WENW1CgRs_R-QHTAyxTE

quLeQ-opSiA

q2ucPFDUmLw

Added after 14 minutes:

j9QeoZUO0sA

Gamer

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:27:55 +0000

DVD Rip of Gamer available

Audio 10
Video 10

http://scene.superfundo.org/p/scene/Gamer.DVDRip.XviD-DoNE.torrent.html

Gold Wanted

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:15:11 +0000

Does your Wife or Girlfriend have any unwanted Gold Jewellery? Rings, Earings, Bracelets? If so .... give her a fucking slap! Ungrateful Bitch.

New Xbox 360 Game

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:02:44 +0000

New game for next year. Its about a coloured gentleman who drives round shagging whores, using violence involving metal bars, crashing cars and evading the police.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2010

Funny Email Exchange

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:50:54 +0000

This Ones For Commie, Nightstalker And All The Other Snipers!

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:50:21 +0000

http://projectkickass.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/What_Do_Snipers_Feel.jpg

Gym Membership

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:39:42 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/membership_fees.jpg

I Love Stupid People!!

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:35:39 +0000

FdJmHp5qP9o

For Some Reason I've Suddenly Had The Urge To Watch Garfield

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:28:41 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/garfield_fullsize.jpg

Fun With Statues

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:53:56 +0000

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/funwithstatues.jpg

Update 11/12/09

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:02:36 +0000

Hey guys,
Switched on xbox this morn and as I was playing MW2 (Being shot) the fecking thing kicked me from live and did an update!

Anyone know what the update was for, what it did etc.......

The Bottom

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:57:53 +0000

I just went delving deep into the bottom of my email inbox which still has stuff from 5 years ago, and was reminded of some rather fantastic times. I found some photos i didn't realise existed, of some girls i had completely forgotten about. I miss that life

Hand Job Song

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:24:41 +0000

Listen to this

fiOexceP5CE

Blood Bowl

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 12:06:32 +0000

Hey just found a cool little site so if you used to play BB all them years ago let me know i will point you to the site and help you set up as it can be hard to set up at first.

Living In The Desert

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:13:32 +0000

Well OK its France but musically its like living in the fuckin desert. Radio is shite 98% of the time, I'm blocked at work for most of the streaming stuff so web radio is basically out. I look to you, fine, upstanding soldiers of UK-A to aide me in my musical quests.

I must say, that n1ck's contribution of James to the Truely amazing thread brought back some memories. I love you n1ck, I really do.

Now onto more serious stuff and I'll risk getting my head caved in since I'm so musically backward.

Elbow anyone?

IdmwHljfN4Q

Just epic.

TIGER WOODS' THANKSGIVING DAY PHOTO

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:20:16 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/165/eltigre.jpg

His wife would get it. Loads.

Work Nights Out On Xmas

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:40:49 +0000

Have just enjoyed a night out with Ped....and, tadger and white summat.
awesome night. was good to meet the guys in natural habitat.

Which leads me to the quesgtion, what are you or did you do for the works do, any tales to tell.

EXCLUSIVE! - First Picture Of Kai Rooney......

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:01:24 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/41/exclusive_first_pics_of_kai_rooney__.jpg

Last Nights Game

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:25:07 +0000

Last nights game was absolutely brilliant Haven't enjoyed myself like that in months!
Think we only lost one game in like 25 matches You lot remember those window lickers? I sure do!
I Guess I still tend to prefer normal TDM over hardcore... sorry lads!
Once again thanks for the great games and load of laughs.... you know who you are!

UK-A and proud,

Hozemaat

Hello And Thanks For The Welcome!!!!!

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:37:07 +0000

Hello People.

My XBL GT Is: IIEvolution85II as the same as my username.

I am 24 years of age and live in chester and have known communist8898 for a while and i look forward to playing with you all soon.

If you havent added me to XBL then please feel free to do so.

I Look forward to playing with the clan soon.

Tryout

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:58:37 +0000

i want tryout please , play tribalwars (1sasa1) want tryout for cod4 GT - toadie738

Following The Latest Posts On uk-alliance.com ...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:00:26 +0000

... is a full-time job !!!

Great clan, good level of activity, easy to hook up with people for a game.

Now, who wants to get naked and rub olive oil all over their bodies?

Vet.

Lancashire Hotpots

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:31:30 +0000

y6vBQ4lJKfI

I'm sure this sounds like nick

LOLOL

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:35:57 +0000

YXRH50fvHWA

How Pleased and Happy I am

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:21:49 +0000

to see the back of Danyl "smug bastard" Johnson

Pre - Christmas Warnings

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:53:42 +0000

Once again you can't say i didn't warn you all

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_8_tombstone.jpg

Why Dont We Get Cool Ads :(

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:35:31 +0000

I want ads like this.

XnE-TsUIr8s

Bonus Hitler Vid

9a24rhmYtrE&NR=1

Xmas Fun Challenge!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:19:13 +0000

Hi All,

Just wondering if you fancy a little fun Clan War???

Would have to be a weekend sometime, dont mind which server... yours or ours! Again, just like you, it dont bother us if we win or lose, we just like the fun and having a laugh!!!

Please let me know asap...

Cheers All

Dobby

dobby-RFW-PFc AKA Dobknobby
Xfire: dobknobby

Left 4 Dead

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:02:44 +0000

8/10

Zombie numbers are insane
Fastest co-op game ever made
a truly unique experience

not good for single player
not enough modes

dead rising meets 28 days later xbox live hardcore and fans of Romero horror will love it

I'm In Love!!!!!!!!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:50:42 +0000

JnIwcf7SG8Q&feature=related

8LqScTQU7Yc&feature=featured

No joke!!! I think I love her!!! Shes completely my perfect woman!!!! lol

Kid Freaks out !!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 08:45:30 +0000

the youth of today

SXZjkW3TqTk

This Is How The Grimsby Boys Like To Party!

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:55:40 +0000

Halloween 09. I have a knife through my head, Loki is the phantom of the opera, Rage is the Grim Reaper and Jabba is in a suit.

Enjoy!

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall1.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2_1257202310_781464.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2_1257202239_362071.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2_1257202451_281569.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2_1257202536_805798.jpg

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/123/hall2_1257202604_503121.jpg

Lord Fekoph's 'Two Night Halloween' Adventure

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:34:46 +0000

World Cup Draw 2010

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:08:25 +0000

old but makes me laugh everytime

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:05:57 +0000

CHDMZEw5f7Q

Apologies

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 09:57:04 +0000

... to those that send me invites and I don't join.

There are certain UK-A members who like a bit of the hard stuff, and unfortunately they've made me a sex slave. I can't do anything about it. Well, I can get more KY, but that's none of your business.

Anywho, seeing that I can actually get a decent winning streak playing hardcore with some degenerates, I think that I'll continue.

Vet.

Halo Wars

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:47:57 +0000

Score: 10/10 Mega Chops

Absoulty stunning graphics, both ingame and especially the cut scenes : Well thought out game play : Easy to use : Attention to detail

As usual would be better on PC then 360

Overview: Excellent all rounder, especially if you stratergy

6rOCdXpdveY

Rat In My Kitchen..............

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 19:51:14 +0000

Booked to see UB40 at the M.en Arena in Dec - top quailty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stth7UjtkCc

Stth7UjtkCc

Real World Cup Draw 2011

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 09:54:22 +0000

World Cup for real men.

Oh F***, What Have I Done????

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 09:28:06 +0000

I've only gone and got a copy of FM 2010. I gave this nonsense up a few years back and now i've weakened.

Well Hello There Soldiers

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:26:50 +0000

I probably said enough in the Be Gentle thread (http://www.uk-alliance.com/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=2282) to make people wary. I probably did enough in my first game invite from n1cks21 to be barred from UK-A for life, but thankfully you have 'let me in'.

What can I say, I have no life except for work and kids. Once they're in bed I play MW2, sometimes well, mostly average. I'm one of those superior Mac users. I've been in France for a while now, based in Toulouse but I don't work for Airbus. I gave up smoking ayear ago, and drinking recently. I'm going to give up my sanity soon.

I have been known to swear occasionally, both on XBL and in forum threads. If anyone gets offended, do let me know.

Vet. (aka Matt)

5 Useful Websites You May Not Know

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:33:00 +0000

The following websites were the top five useful websites as voted for by the Gadget Show, I have used a couple of them and they are pretty good.

www.saynoto0870.com

This website lists many companies geographical phone numbers so you do not need to go through there premium rate numbers when sitting on hold for the day

www.connectotel.com/marcus/ceoemail.html

This website lists all contact details for the CEO's of major companies, not getting dealt with properly like (like us when we were dealing with Sky) then piss off the CEO (like we did with Sky) you would be suprised how quickly things get sorted (like we were with Sky)

www.youconvertit.com/

Free file conversion no software needed (on the tin and all that)

http://joobili.com/

Want a holiday but not flexible with dates etc etc, the above site will help you get the most out of it

www.supercook.com/

I have used this site quite a bit already, go through your cupboards, fridge and so on. List all of your food, herbs spices and this site will give you a list of recipes for what you have or tell you what you need to buy. This will save you a lot of money and make sure you are only getting what you need when searching the isles.

So Many ...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:16:53 +0000

So many new guys around i really have lost track I just want to Say welcome to everyone who has recently joined.

For the many of you who i don't have on my friends list either add me on live
GT: Loki the Seraph
or leave your gt here and i'll add you. I think theres about 10 or 15 people who i still don't have on my friends list, For which i apologise.

Looking forward to kicking some arse on live with you all.

Letter To God

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:28:38 +0000

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had 100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna.

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96, which they put in to an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was 4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely,
Edna.

You Know When You Can't Help It? Lol

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:37:53 +0000

zjHCwLOsozo&feature=related

I hate myself as much as you all hate me right now! But shes so god damn fit!! I love a scene girl like!!

COD Jokes

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:03:31 +0000

Sending tanks, hundreds of soldiers and thousands of dollars worth of explosives to save Burger Town.
And people say Call of Duty is unrealistic

While playing Call of Duty as an American soldier , today, I accidentally shot a British soldier on one of those Joint Op. missions.

It was game over and up popped a message on the screen telling me "Friendly fire will not be tolerated!"

And they've got the cheek to call this game "Ultra realistic"?

Just been playing Modern Warfare 2 and heard "Friendly Helicopter on the way" I was disappointed when I didn't see Budgie.

November 10th, 2009. The day the world sat still screaming at the tele.

I think I've realised why I keep getting killed on Call of Duty. I watched the Kill-cam and it appears for some reason that I have a giant red arrow above my head exposing my position...

HOLY S***

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:03:54 +0000

I just accidentally downloaded a torrent with opera, 1.2 gb in 9 mins. Damn that shit was fast

Zi Ei Ui Si

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 11:36:07 +0000

Just posting a little intro for you guys,

OK my name is Dean i am 29 years old and born and breed in Portsmouth,

I was in the Royal Navy for 11 years but i left as my little boy came along and wanted to spend more time at home,

I am now a wall and floor tilier and dry liner but work at the minute has dryed up so got lots of free time.

So if any one is of work for any reason in the week i will be online so throw me a invite gamer tag is Zi Ei Ui Si.

See you online some time.

Jerry Dose Tom

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:39:42 +0000

not really a funny topic but i freeking love this song (some ppl may not) and the video is a funny as fook lol

enjoy

YxxmZhvkHa8

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:03:24 +0000

Came across this on youtube. hahahaha

Prestige Or Not To Prestige That Is The Question.....

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:18:39 +0000

I am just about to get the choice if to prestige and not sure if i should or not with new game coming out what you guys think

Star Wars Facebook Status Updates

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 10:22:15 +0000

[img align=left]http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/d/collegehumor.b4e2234a1b65fc0bf05b42cd787ee934.jpg

[img align=left]http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/e/collegehumor.2ae38436acbbf31572a5aaae4f70ed6d.jpg

[img align=left]http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/e/collegehumor.1adbc0191138e0c9a8aab05eefa824d4.jpg

[img align=left]http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/b/collegehumor.e0d6316d2280a544036ac6db58df5146.jpg

[img align=left]http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/1/collegehumor.dcf72ed359985c910fef232133945a23.jpg

The Vader one made me piss myself so much.

FAO PED117

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:08:16 +0000

Can you get us a code for L4D2 demo, if you got them instore?????

Segway !!!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:48:51 +0000

Modern Warfare 2 Completed In 2 Mins!!!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:20:48 +0000

Watch and be schooled!

THU2H5_nadQ

Spaced

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:16:52 +0000

Classic Television

EZnsOZsA7_4

Added after 4 minutes:

Here's another one. Anyone else had a moment like this :

1vUfBOdSmBU

Quotation Of Plato

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:46:22 +0000

One man cannot practice many arts with success.
Quotation of Plato

2012

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:48:26 +0000

All you downloaders...

Good copy of 2012

http://www.mininova.org/tor/3168652

Disturbed Now With Vid

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:01:34 +0000

Sorry if any of you biys are of the Ginge persuassion but I have just seen this advert and find it quite disturbing

MU0IzMbcOug

Is it me or is this just promoting passive ethnic cleansing

Added after 7 minutes:

Let me know if this link is working as it is just white on my screen, is it url or embedded you use? cant remember

Stoner Rock!!!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:29:49 +0000

I know theres a few of us out there that might enjoy this

Its basically amazing riff driven rock music with lots of distorted bass.....see what you think?

Kyuss was Josh Hommes band before he did Queens Of The Stone Age and Them Crooked Vultures.

Fc-7FXzbeA0

T2IZ2qI3ahg

Another band too....

zj9IAvv32wE

Fall Out 3: Operation Anchorage

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:32:37 +0000

* For those of you that don't know this is download content for Fall Out 3 *

Score: 6/10 Chops

Refreshing setting : Detailed areas : Nice kit at the end

Just combat : Endless identicle enemies

Overall: For obsesive kit horders only!

KOHXl3NYOOw

When Russian Roulette Goes Wrong

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:52:54 +0000

just come across this on youtube
zWAi9X9Q3og

Learn Chinese In 5 Mins!!

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:04:20 +0000

http://www.greatfunnypictures.com/pictures/3229-Learn-chinese-fast.jpg

Data Transfer

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:15:18 +0000

just tried to transfer data 2 new console but it did,nt work i followed disc but kept tellin me to connect the cable which i had. any ideas?

Sample

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:06:04 +0000

A 70-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day the 70-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the bloody jar open!"

ahhhhhhhhhhhh WALL

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:51:22 +0000

8C7yjO0TIIk

DJ Mixes/Live Sets

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:46:56 +0000

I have been digging through all of my old tapes, cds, minidiscs of my old dj sets and live recordings from clubs I have played at spanning from 1994 - 2006. I have converted most of them to MP3 now so will be adding them to rapidshare shortly.

The music styles vary:

Funky House
Electro house
Breakbeat
Trance
Tech House
Pumping/Hard

I will post the links for anyone who fancies a listen

Finally Over....

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:43:14 +0000

As some know my three month course that kept me off cod and my xbox is officially over! im now a manager at game!!! back to cod!!

Animator V Animation

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:48:49 +0000

Link

Click the link, press play and watch

I Know It's Not Xmas Yet But This Is Funny!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:59:41 +0000

http://photognome.livejournal.com/297181.html

Communist MW2

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:38:41 +0000

Just signed into xbox live to find commi on modern warefare 2 jealous isnt the word am looking for wishing this week to go even faster now

Fork Lift Accident

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:17:53 +0000

hqC2URQstz4

Poor, Poor Ped !!!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:17:32 +0000

Lvl 31 before you get Claymores......... that's gotta hurt

maybe have to rename this place

I Feel Filthy

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:40:35 +0000

I've just spent 79p on the new JLS single, I hate myself. It's so good though.

Trailer Trash

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:58:35 +0000

Rugby in Heaven

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:18:38 +0000

Rugby in Heaven

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, 'Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there.'
Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed,' Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, 'Mike--Mike.'

'Who is it? Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'

'Mike--it's me, Joe.'

'You're not Joe. Joe just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Joe,' insists the voice.'

'Joe! Where are you?'

'In heaven', replies Joe. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' says Mike.

The good news,' Joe says,' is that there's rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again.

Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' says Mike. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're in the team for Tuesday.'

He's Only Gone And Done It!!!!

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:26:41 +0000

I've got my MW2 Super Elite preordered Ill be back soon

MW2 Im Lost...Help!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:32:43 +0000

Need help never pre-ordered a game or been to fetch one at midnight so am lost on what to do, shall i pre-order just i can only manage to get two days of work and with royal mail strike may it not come on the day?? or at a stupid time in afternoon. i was thinking of going to tesco at midnight to get it will the q's be bad? will they possibly run out of copies? not sure what to do

Jennifers Body

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:31:50 +0000

Went to an early screening of this on Monday, not bad, but as it was a pre view screening, i think bits were cut. Film was ok not worth wasting 7, best to d/l or rent, even if megan is in it.

VYQ19JM_M1g

Oh yea, 1000 posts

Argument With The Misses...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:14:15 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/41/3ixvy.jpg

Sorry To The Little People

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:14:03 +0000

Man walks in to a library & asks for a book on underage dwarf sex,the librarian says how can u stoop so fookin low.The man says yes thats the one!

Dog On A Plane?

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 15:21:15 +0000

A man sits next 2 a guy with a dog on a plane & asks is he a guide dog?
No i,m a drugs officer ,he,s a sniffer dog,watch this & says to the dog"search"
The dog goes off,comes back & puts 1 paw on his lap, "heroin"the guy says & makes a note of the passenger seat number.
The dog goes of & comes back again & puts 2 paws on the guys lap. "coke" the guy says & makes a note.
Again the dog goes off when he comes back he shits all over the seat,whats that then the 1st man asks,guy replies he,s found a fookin bomb!

GRRRRrrrr!! Annoyed!!!!!!!

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:55:52 +0000

My own stupid fault...

Preordered 24 Season 7 on Blu Ray back in May. YES! MAY!!

...Only to find my card declined at Play.com because i forgot i lost my card, card numbers changed and i didnt update it...

Gotta wait another 5 days for delivery...

Longleat - Monkey Jungle

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:31:04 +0000

This is from the Longleat website:

"After carrying out routine testing of the monkey colony, one single female tested positive for Simian Herpes. The whole group has now been tested and all have proven to be negative bar this one female. Despite this, Longleat has taken the decision to keep the Monkey Jungle closed to drive-through traffic**til further tests have been undertaken. This requires retesting the whole group which is a major excersice."

Link: http://www.longleat.co.uk/monkey-jungle-closed.html

Now please tell how the f**k one female Monkey managed to contract herpes if none of the others has got it???

Muse

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:07:40 +0000

Been listening to Muse recently, and i fecking LOVE THEM!!! Fantastic band have them on in work all the time, me and the manager love them but the younger staff don't like them. Phfff bloody kids, don't know good music when they hear it.

Pgum6OT_VH8

dLL2jkD-RZE

Xsp3_a-PMTw

Star Wars 9/11

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:45:40 +0000

I hope this does not offend anyone. I thinks its funny.

xV7Ha3VDbzE&

HTC G2

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:49:38 +0000

Okay so i got a new phone the other day a t-mobile HTC G2 Touch.

Anyone else got one of these ??

Any useful tips or hints etc ??

Appreciate it

Apps

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:36:01 +0000

Got me sen a Jailbroken iPhone 3G, anyone care to recommend some awesome apps? Remember I can get them all for free!! So as expensive as you like.

Is It Wrong.....

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:59:49 +0000

Is it wrong that i have the hots for the girl off WET game??????

She is so fit, i have to have a look every time i go into Game.

Don't tell the missus that i'm not really looking at games for my lad

Back To The Gym...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:28:12 +0000

Tonight will be the first night back in the gym in over 6 months

I'll be sore in the morning

I know KZ likes to hit the gym, anyone else a regular gym rat?

Doghouse & Assassination Of A High School President

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:25:28 +0000

Another couple I downloaded and watched this weekend were:

Doghouse (Danny Dyer)
A8rsPuFN8wg

Assassination of a High School President
GKf3AhJLo3g

Rented Fifa Scratched!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:59:49 +0000

i rented fifa for week from blockbuster and its now scratched!! i was on it this afternoon and it was fine playing don and boris i turned it off went to go on it tonight and disc is unreadable i looked and its scratched to fuck!! is it my xbox??? i take it il have to pay for the game now???

Grimsby Lads Are BACK!!!

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:55:19 +0000

Hello Everyone!

Hope you havnt missed us all too much! Holiday at Center Parcs is over now... So after 5 days of no COD, were all gonna be up for some action for the run up to MW2!

Just found 181 NEW posts... Anyone wanna summarise whats gone on, anything interesting, funny, or whatever. Cant be arsed to read all threads

I caught the beginnings of Ronins issues last week i think. Shame to lose him...

Scarface... Really sorry to hear your news mate. Hope all turns out ok for youself, your dad and family

Up

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:08:51 +0000

xxMcViTf7KU

Saw this today, highly recommemded

G.I. Joe:The Rise Of Cobra

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:44:35 +0000

just watched this, courtesy of Mininova. Not a bad film, plenty of action, especially the chase through Paris inf the acelerator suits, lots of fighting and guns. Worth a watch

zdvMpL4wtMg

The Assumption Song

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:56:13 +0000

QhiIvKzA-SA

A Rusty Hole

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:05:32 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_8_tombstone_1254843193_750626.jpg

Surrogates

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:10:48 +0000

New Bruce Willis film also looks good.

jwTJ7mCcFoY

HALO: ODST

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:11:22 +0000

Just ordered the ODST with Ltd edition controller and Beta access for 'Reach'

Really dont know why, really not arsed about the game, did fancy a new controller though. My current controller is very worn and has squeaky triggers (COD4's fault)

Impulse buys........

RATED NUMBER 1 BABY !!!!!!

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:17:23 +0000

COD 4 Top Clans

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_image9.jpg

not sure for how long

Call Of Duty: Womens Edition

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 13:31:30 +0000

yes Infinity Ward have now introduced a new Call of Duty that is specially for women. Its also free

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_5_1246440555403.jpg

School Children Talking About The Sea

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:54:43 +0000

This is a picture of an octopus.
It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
>
Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
>
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you 0don't
have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
>
Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
>
A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
>
My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)
>
> When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn'tblow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
>
> I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. .How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
>
> I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
>
>
Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
>
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
>
Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)
>
On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.
She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7)

Help RE 5

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:59:56 +0000

I cant get past the bridge & truck part right at the begining

Any tips?
I keep dying and tips on the net say just keep trying and theres only so many times you can try till you go mad!

GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:22:40 +0000

JUS FOUND OUT THAT NOT ONLI IS MY GF PREGNANT,BUT WE ARE EXPECTIN TWINS!!!!!!

Guess Who Back, Back Again, Loki's Back

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 09:29:21 +0000

Whoo finally got a new pc today(thank you tax credits )

Not got virgin media in yet as they are insisting that the fiber optic cable outside the house that currently supplies the neighbours broadband doesn't exist!!!

Anyhow ive got the mrs's samsung tocco working as a modem exploiting her free internet :D wont be long before im back on XBL

Toy Story 1 & 2 In 3d

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 09:11:21 +0000

tohAwxKjM6k

Under instructions from KD Jnr that we gotta go see this

Married? Need Cheering Up?

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:55:54 +0000

Watch your wedding video backwards - You'll love the bit were she takes the ring off, walks down the aisle, jumps in the car and fooks off.

RIP Patrick Swayze

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:26:02 +0000

1_I4WgBfETc

5o6QGBNv58w
probably my fave Swayze film, as well as

UsbuQ-jg014

How To Deal With Hate Mail

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:04:24 +0000

How to deal with hate mail

This message has been forwarded by Mr Shooting.
Mr Shooting today at 09:22
Hi!!!!

My guess is from the content of your mail you must be about 13 years old and one of our American cousins!!

Your penis is probably only about 4 inches long in reality and indeed nowhere near as fat as my well developed mountain of pure power.... however I concur that your member probably does smell of bottom - I would guess your best friends, but then I doubt that you have any.

My mother has to say that she was disappointed to say the least.... it was not very satisfying - she couldn't feel a thing.

All the best.

Mr Shooting.

high elf* today at 02:20
suk my big fat assss dick like ur momma last night bitch

Irony, Fate And Probably Grimsby Colide...

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:47:34 +0000

5fQzVWnYCTE

New posts

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:22:39 +0000

I have been working on the site for the last few days and I had to log in is as Admin, I think this must be the record for New Posts

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_posts.jpg

dont think I am gonna read ALL of them

Red Tiger Camo

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:56:29 +0000

Been working hard on getting the Red Tiger camo for the M40A3, got the last 20 head shots last night within 2 hours

Now onto the M21, should get a better K/D ratio with the semi auto (should/hopefully). Anyone roll with the Gold camo weapons??? The only one i would like is the AK47, but i wouldn't use it that much anyway.

Had an arguement last night with another american kid, playing HC HQ on overgrown, getting my last 2 headshots, and he called me a camper??? Then moaned because i threw a smoke to stop the HQ being shot up from a guy spraying the M60. "How you going to get headshots when you throw smoke at them?" he was saying. Sometimes people still amaze me in how stupid they can be

This game still confuses me, i'm either good, not good or utter shit, depending on spawns, connection, time, weather, what's on TV, who's the prime minister, had a shave, and all completely random things so who fucking really knows???

The one thing i do know for sure is that you take the rough with the smooth

And darn those pesky kids

P.S. rant over

Facebook N Internet

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:00:45 +0000

Has anyone elses Facebook gone insane? and also proper bad internet slow down?

Batman A A

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:59:48 +0000

Got it today. Gameplay is as seen in the demo. Villians are well cool especially Scarecrow. Puzzles on the other hand are somewhat fiendish, but you are dealing with the Riddler. But allow me to lend a hand.

Map Area: Intensive Treatment

Lobby

Don't cut yourself on this Sharply observed portrait.
The portrait of Warden Sharp on the wall. This is the first riddle you get, and is very easy - the portrait is nearby when The Riddler contacts you.

Transfer Loop

A top hat and tails is the only dress code for this party in the North
Looking at the map, find the corridor that runs left to right. About halfway down this corridor is a partially open door. Duck under it and look at the Penguin poster on the wall.

Holding Cells

Where would you find my home sweet home?
There's a cell covered in question marks right at the start of the game. Not sure if you can scan it then, since it's before The Riddler actually sets you any challenges. If not, come back later when you have the Cryptographic Sequencer to shut off the barrier.

Secure Transit

Dr Jonathan Crane plans on elevating fear to new depths.
You can only get this at the end of the game, when you can get past the elevator that Harley crashes near the start. Enter the vent at the bottom of the elevator shaft and follow it to Scarecrow's lair.

Cell Block Transer

Hook up with the relatives before you're transferred out of here.
Right near the end, after the final (brilliant) Scarecrow sequence, take the right hand corridor, disable the barrier at the stairs near the far door and enter Aaron Cash's office. Zoom in on the family photo on the desk.

Patient Pacification Chamber

Even I was shocked when I saw how Maxie Zeus was treated.
Maxie's cell is behind a breakable wall in the far corner, opposite the grate you use to escape after defeating Zsasz in your first encounter. You won't be able to get it when you first enter this room, as you need the explosive gel.

Intensive Treatment Lobby

A puzzle has many sides, but only some are visible.
Riddles phrased like this mean you need to switch to Detective Mode and look for a question mark painted on the scenery. You'll need to stand in the right position to make it line up correctly. Don't forget the dot underneath! This one can be seen from inside the structure in the middle of the room. Looking at the map, you want to be in the glass-roofed section on the left hand side. You'll see the top of the question mark on the window facing the south wall, where the dot is. Line them up.

Map Area: Medical Facility

Secure Access

Are you going to take your hat off to Harley, Bats?
Next to the elevator in the Sanatorium there's a grate on the wall. You need the Bat-Claw to pull it down. Climb in, drop down the shaft to the Morgue level. There's another vent at the bottom of the elevator shaft - climb in there and keep following the vent until you drop down into Harley's room. Zoom in on the harlequin hat on the desk.

Surgery Room

Shhhhsshh! Rumors persist that Tommy Elliot operates in Arkham. Can it be true?
On the upstairs balcony, where the henchmen jump down from, there's a board on the wall with the surgeon's roster. Zoom in on Elliot's name.

Experimental Chamber

Is this bear the Bane of his life?
Bane's teddy bear is on the left hand side as you make your way through this area. You can't miss it, since you have to go past it.

Patient Observation

Was this fire fly too hot off the press?
After you've removed all the gas, look for press cuttings stuck to a locker in one of the small rooms. Zoom in on the Firefly headline.

Sanatorium

A question can only be answered from a new perspective. Don't you agree?
As you enter the room, there's a breakable floor on the left hand side. Demolish it with gel, then stand on the side and switch on Detective Mode. The main bit of the question mark is on the side of the hole, the dot is on the floor below.

TICK! TOCK! News flash! Someone is not getting out of here alive.
In the large room where you free Dr Young from Joker's thugs, look for the cell decorated with skulls on the lower level. The clue suggests it's something to do with Killer Croc, but I don't think he'd fit in there!

Morgue

What silent killer of the oceans can be found in a tiny jar?
There's a jar at the end of the autopsy table, containing fingers and body parts from Great White Shark. Zoom in on the jar, make sure the label is displayed.

Medical Foyer

Is the generosity of our benefactors on the Wayne?
Directly opposite the front doors. It's the gold plaque saying the medical unit was funded by the Bruce Wayne Foundation for the Criminally Insane.

Map Area: Caves

Main Sewer Junction

A puzzle has many sides, but only some are visible.
Just before you make the final jump to reach the door leading back outside, turn to the pillar behind you, and shimmy around. You'll find a trophy. Turn on Detective Mode and you'll see the dot from the bottom of the question mark, the rest of which should be on the bridge above you. THANKS TO PITTSKI FOR FINDING THE DOT!

Map Area: Arkham Mansion

South Corridor

This fiendish puzzle literally appears out of thin air.
One of Riddler's hidden question marks. You'll see most of it very easily in Detective Mode - it's over a display case. You'll need to grapple up to the duct opposite and look down to find the dot though.

What does a bird need in the rain?
Penguin's umbrellas. Easily found in a display case.

Warden's Office

Isn't the Warden too old for a puppet show?
Scarface. He's in a display case. Can't miss it.

Main Hall

Who is the main man in the main hall?
Not the statue! Look for the plaque honoring Commisioner Gordon on the right hand side staircase.

Dr Young's Office

It'll be a cold day in Hell when this Ghul rises again.
In one of the rooms outside Young's office, there's a wall of body freezers. Look for the one sticking out and zoom in on Ra's Al Ghul's toe tag. Fun Easter Egg: if you return after completing the story, he's gone.

How do you mask your feelings without losing control?
The big tribal mask on the wall of Young's office. Impossible to miss.

Arkham Records Room

Our records show that a Strange transfer request was made in this room.
Hidden behind an electronic barrier. You'll need the Cryptographic Sequencer, the horizontal zipline and the Power Amplifier upgrade. Disable the barrier, zipline over the electric floor and you'll find Hugo Strange's files. It took me a few attempts to find a view of them that the game would accept, but just zoom in and keep trying.

North Corridor

Did Amadeus go mad, or was he just dizzy?
I think you find this while finding a way into Dr Young's office. You'll need to crawl through the vents and drop down into a small cell. There's another cell nearby with circular writing all over the walls. Zoom in on Amadeus Arkham's insane scribblings.

East Wing Corridor

A game of Cat and mouse can be painful.
Catwoman's mask and gloves. Easy to spot in a display case.

Main Cell Block

This room is the end of days for even the most celebrated killer.
The clue reads like it's referring to an execution chamber, but it actually refers to Calendar Man's cell. It's the one papered with calendar pages.

Two people, one voice, no gun?
After fighting Harley's goons on top of the cells, you're looking for Scarface's tommy gun, in a case on the wall between the two control rooms.

Cells Access

How do you reflect on your successes and failures, Batman?
There's a full length mirror in the ladies toilet. You want Batman's reflection.

Guard Room

When is something right in front of you but still hidden from view?
You can't get these when you first enter this room, because you have to save the guards from Harley's bombs. Come back after you've got the upgraded Bat-Claw and zipline, then you can clear the gas. To do this, climb onto the vents above the guards. Break through the wall, then use the Bat-Claw to pull down the wall on the other side. Batarang the circuit breaker to turn on the fans. Now zipline across and turn around and, with Detective Mode activated, look back to where you just came from. The question mark will be visible.

Prometheus, Arkham guards' most wanted and most hated.
After getting the previous riddle, drop down and find the notice board in the room. Zoom in on the Prometheus poster.

Extreme Incarceration

All alone in your cell? Why don't you break the ice with the most dangerous prisoners?
Mr Freeze's cell, obviously. You can't miss it - it's the one in a block of ice! Wait until you've defeated Harley and her goons befoe getting it though.

Security Control Room

A case of mistaken identity?
One of my favorites. It's the cell at the far end, where Aaron Cash asks for you to let him out. Check the handprints on the glass, then look at him in Detective Mode. No skeleton? Say hello to Clayface. If you come back later, he'll be impersonating other characters. There doesn't seem to be any way to see him in his natural state, sadly.

Controlled Access
What has four walls, two sides and one ex-DA?
Two Face's cell. You can't miss it.

Map Area: Botanical Gardens

Glasshouse Entrance

Is the number up for these guards?
Easy to find. Look for the two dead guards on the bench. Looks like Zsasz got them.

Botanical Glasshouse

What time is tea time in Wonderland?
In the large room with the big fountain. Look in the foliage along the back wall on the second or third tier. You're looking for Mad Hatter's teaset, laid out for a picnic.

Statue Corridor

Remember the Waynes? How could anyone forget?
Zoom in on the bench to find a commemorative plaque to Bruce's parents.

Flooded Corridor

The Ratcatcher needed more than just charm to lead his army.
While crawling through the vent after Joker blocks the way, look down through a grate to see Ratcatcher's costume.

Looks like all the king's horses trampled all the king's men.
Zoom in on the broken wooden soldiers on the bench. Can't miss them.

Is this a tribute to what a mad dog left behind?
Find the headless statue (you'll have to pass it, I think it's right before you meet Ivy) and zoom in on the vandalised plaque.

Aviary

There's no closet in the gardens, so someone is using the roof instead.
You can get this while sneaking past Joker's henchmen. You need to climb up behind the left wall, and you'll emerge on an outcrop, almost directly opposite the control room you're headed for. Look left and down and there's a skeleton hanging out of a crevice. Zoom in.

Abandoned Chamber

This challenge can only be seen by those with a different view on life.
I've found this, but can't remember the exact location. Fairly sure this was another Detective Mode question mark, viewable only from high up in this maze-like room. If anyone else can supply more details, groovy!

Map Area: Arkham Island West

Does Scarecrow's gas break down barriers as it drives you insane?
Located behind a breakable wall, high up on your left near the Eastern exit from the area. You'll need to upgraded Bat-Claw to pull the wall down, then grapple up and find Scarecrow's gas cannisters.

Zsasz is counting on you to find his work.
Looking at the map, this can be found in a room at the top of the large building on the left. You'll need the upgraded Cryptographic Sequencer to disable the barrier from a distance. Once inside, you'll find dead guards arranged as if they're playing poker.

Do you see what I see? No? Then maybe I am in a stronger position.
From the location of the previous riddle, switch to Detective Mode, stand on the balcony and look across at the elevator on the opposite side. The top of the question mark in on the elevator wall, the dot is on the railing in front of you. THANKS TO SULLYDAVID.

Map Area: Arkham East

The legacy of this island has been well and truly buried.
Arkham's grave in the cemetery. Can't miss it.

Gotham's greatest family towers over the city.
Nothing to do with the numerous towers on the Arkham Mansion. Look to the horizon and zoom in on the WayneTech skyscraper.

My challenge appears to those with the correct position in life.
Climb up the left hand side of Arkham Mansion. Grapple up to the first platform on the large tower at the back, then follow it around and grapple up to the next. Look down at the rooftops in Detective Mode and find the giant question mark. The dot is actually on the platform you're standing on.

Map Area: Arkham North

Now I see it, now you don't!
Another question mark. This one is on the underside of the top of the doorframe of the ruined building in the far corner. Stand just outside, looking in, to line it up.

Let's face it, there are two Dents on the wall.
Inside one of the small huts, you'll find a Harvey Dent poster. You may be able to get in by using explosive gel on the roof, or you may need to use the Cryptographic Sequencer on the barrier.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee SAW it, can you SEE it?
Easy. Look for the see-saw at the edge of the map, near the gates

Beatles : Rock Band!!!

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 19:30:23 +0000

1 Word = INCREDIBLE!!!!

Star Wars Vs Snatch!!

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 10:43:20 +0000

kDKiQfBs9lo

Fancy Dress....

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:05:50 +0000

As we are opening at mid night for MW2 im trying to get together an army kit...fancy dress...dont wanna spend loads but wanna look awesome...seen a gas mask etc on amazon....any ideas lads!? need the kit with a gun M4? grenades etc...

Cheers lads

MW2 Zombies

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:17:44 +0000

Hi Guys,
Don't know if any of you have seen this artwork before.
Found it while mooching around.
It's not a screen-shot but it might be of interest to any Zombie addicts out there.

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_131_worldwarzconceptart.jpg

Looks pretty cool if you want my opinion

Gamer

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 09:33:34 +0000

New one starring 300's Gerard Butler, saw an ad for this last night, good amount of action

9ubYTIazskQ

Who Let The Dogs Out

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:22:00 +0000

My son has just been jumping round singing "Who let the dogs out", so i had to post this

He82NBjJqf8

Game

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:48:29 +0000

Had to tell you guys about this one

Don't know if it's been on here long but I just come across it..

It's called 'Summer Fun'

You pick a friend to sit above water tank, hit target with balloon, ball etc. and all your friends stand around dancing and laughing.

What a fecking hooot..

Can't wait till i'm pissed tonight and play this

Just done shot2bit5z cause he killed me tooooooooooo many times last night

Your next you commie fucker

H From Steps Dead?

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:25:58 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_125_h_steps.jpg

Wow..loads Coming Out!

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:40:02 +0000

was looking through our release lists at work...crazy how much is coming out that i want!!

COD-MW2, ODST, fifa, asassins creed II, Flashpoint (wont be a patch on cod like) new GTA, others i cant think of to...but i know 1 thing...............................SKINT 4 XMAS!!

Last Night

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:04:27 +0000

Looks like a missed a good night last night....fired up my Xbox 360 at about 22:30 and there was loads pf UK-A on.....It was good to see, just a shame I couldn't get on... Watching a movie with the Mrs

Avatar

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 08:01:28 +0000

Just been to see The Final Destination, has to be seen in 3d and gets for gory deaths. One advert i saw was for Avatar and advert was in 3d, 1 word AWESOME

j6AAt-oV3wE

Half Life On 60 Seconds

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:19:25 +0000

slRsexrhbG8

You know you grew up in the 80's if...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:05:25 +0000

You know you grew up in the 80's if...

1. You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
2. You wanted to be on StarSearch.
3. You ever uttered the word "Radical!"
4. You wore jelly shoes and jelly bracelets
5. You thought "Ghostbusters" was by far the coolest movie
6. You remember watching shows like "Punky Brewster" , "Webster", "You Can't Do That On Television" "Wild & Crazy Kids" and "Double Dare"
7. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in "Thriller" at the end of the video.
8. You wore a banana clip in your hair or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.
9. You rolled up the bottoms of your splatter painted jeans.
10. You wore loafers with everything, and you put the laces in those little rolls.
11. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.
12. You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt.
13. You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."
14. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
15. You can name half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack."
16. You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!
17. You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.
18. You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own.
19. You sat on your back porch, playing with your "My Little Pony" , "Rainbow Brite" , and "Strawberry Shortcake" dolls
20. You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."
21. You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future."
22. You know where to go where everybody knows your name.
23. You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
24. You know what "sike" and "not!" mean
25. You fell victim to 80's fashion : big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, big hoop earrings, and possibly the worst:you wore spandex pants.
26. You wanted to be a Goonie, or Elliot from E.T.
27. You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.
28. You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."
29. You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.
30. You ever wore flourescent -neon if you will clothing....
31. You could breakdance, or wished you could.
32. You know who He-Man and She-Ra are.
33. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
34. You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".
35. You remember MC hammer well.
36. You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Belair".
37. You own any cassettes.
38. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
39. You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut.
40. Pizza Hut was the coolest place to hang.
41. Poltergeist freaked you out.
42. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an E.T. lunchbox.
43. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
44. You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy, or you wanted green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits.
45. You totally LOVED Barbie's cooler, punkier counterpart, "Jem" and her "Rockers"
46. You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.
47. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
48. You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.
49. You layered your multi-colored slouch socks, and added suspenders to make your outfit complete.
50. You ever had a Swatch Watch.
51. You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.
52. You had a crush on one of the Coreys
53. You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
54. You had WonderWoman or Superman underwear.
55. You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
56. You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power"
57. You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
58. Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away!
59. You watched the Pound Puppies.
60. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom.
61.You know what Parachute Pants look like and feel like.
62. Skateboards had tailguards, nosegaurds, rails and one kick.
63. You know what Parachute Pants look like and feel like.
64. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday Morning to watch cartoons.
65. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
66. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
67.You traded Garbage Pail kids in the schoolyard.
68. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
69. Sunnyboys!
70. You remember going to the rink before there were inline skates.
71. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
72. Your motto was "Don't worry, be happy."
73. The A-Team

Question.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 18:04:13 +0000

Ever got wi a lass and then cant remember her name the nxt day?....

Its shit.

Monkey Island

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:55:55 +0000

Heres a viedo for all you Monkey Island fans:

MXoO9JslgBk

Kicked by a Horse

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:35:35 +0000

mqPvSDqLiy0

OhKT2V-Y-SA

Some New Tunes I Think You'll Like...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:16:18 +0000

... or maybe not? OK, I know I'm officially a metalhead but I do like my hardcore tunes as well, but they have to be banging. So see what you think of these two...

ckMvj1piK58

KPONH2j4In8

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 60s, 70's & 80's

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:31:07 +0000

I did post this before I think on our old site:-

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 60's , 70's & 80's

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

Scouse Toy Story 2

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 07:14:48 +0000

hl-XluC1PqQ

Scouse Toy Story

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:15:30 +0000

iAZHCo7KCJM

The Ultimate Showdown

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 12:27:24 +0000

4WgT9gy4zQA

Komodo And Co! ;)

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 12:22:53 +0000

Love this...esp 8.30

qamVB4ixxGs

FAO Nightstalker

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:47:49 +0000

Your nothing but a fucking camper!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha ha that was funny as fuck. I couldn't stop laughing when you were arguing with that 12 year old. He was fucking funny, the way he deliverd his abuse was priceless. "Suck my dong!!"

Geordie Star Wars

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:10:03 +0000

u1EjSQ1rBYw

Sorry Guys But...........

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:07:06 +0000

I have fallen behind a bit with sending out codes has anyone played with the below yet ???

Gerry mo
bobadoo 1986
Belwin

sorry If I have asked the same question elsewhere.........

just wanna sort it asap

Ibiza Songs!?

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:44:12 +0000

Whats ur fav ibiza style dance song or anything like that? or maybe a chill out type del mar thing...makiing my playlist for ibiza!! loada cheese on there!!

FaceBook Fails

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 19:28:07 +0000

[img align=left]http://www.rwdmag.com/images/stories/newimages/facebookfail.jpg

Random Thoughts From 20-35 Year Olds...

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:40:37 +0000

Skiving Aussie

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:54:37 +0000

The Thursday Joke Part 2

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:14:17 +0000

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "hey bartender, got a grape?"

the bartender replies, "No I don't have a ******* grape, get out of my bar, Duck!"

The next day, the duck comes back in the bar and asks, "Hey bartender, got a grape?"

The bartender, a little more ****ed this time says, "Get the **** OUT OF MY BAR DUCK!"

The third day, the duck walks into the bar. The bartender is glaring at him and says, "You better not ask me for a grape again duck or I'll nail your beak to the bar"

The duck asks, "Hey bartender, got a hammer?"

Bartender says, "No duck, I don't have a hammer".

Duck says, "Got a grape?"

The Hurtlocker

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:39:07 +0000

Hopefully gonna watch this over the weekend

2GxSDZc8etg

Last Night!!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:45:13 +0000

good night last night fellas there was a few of us its good playin wit u lot but hard playin against ya wen u on the other team. ill be on tonight up for abit of hardcore hq need the points. javascript:emoticon(':-thumbs%20up');

Vids

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:27:52 +0000

Z9CLWCxfFAQ

cgh6XhrVkn8

t4d7qptGDfA

District 9

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:22:25 +0000

Saw good advert for this, looks awesome

d6PDlMggROA

Champions League Draw

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:23:04 +0000

Group A: Bayern Munich, Juventus, Bordeaux, Maccabi Haifa;

Group B: Manchester United, CSKA Moscow, Besiktas, Wolfsburg;

Group C: Milan, Real Madrid, Marseille, FC Zurich;

Group D: Chelsea, Porto, Atletico Madrid, APOEL Nicosia;

Group E: Liverpool Olympique Lyon Fiorentina Debrecen;

Group F: Barcelona Inter Milan Dinamo Kiev Rubin Kazan;

Group G: Sevilla Rangers VfB Stuttgart Unirea Urziceni;

Group H: Arsenal AZ Alkmaar Olmpiakos Piraeus Standard Liege

Incase any ones interested.

Thursday Joke

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:52:13 +0000

Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.

The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting on the dock, fishing rod in hand and refreshment in hand...

His buddies asked, "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"

Dave replied "Last night I came home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows thinking how much I wanted to go fishing. Then the ol'lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, "Surprise".

When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, "Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want".

SO I DID AND HERE I AM!

Any Excuse....

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:49:12 +0000

to show off my forum avatar!!

I'd like to say i made it, but i cant...

Dont Call Me Fat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:47:11 +0000

K2oLoBpFmho

0gXG5SeXV7c

Inglorious B'stards

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 01:26:03 +0000

5sQhTVz5IjQ

Off to see this tonight, can't wait

Map Tactics

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 22:04:44 +0000

Killzone / Roochop

Guys let me know when you are free for some of that tactical map training you both mentioned.

I need it and I am sure some of the other newer guys will be up for that as well?

Live At The Apollo

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:18:20 +0000

Was watching this last night on Dave and it had Stephen K Amos on. Never seen his act before and was crying with laughter.

http://208.65.153.238/watch?v=QKGnFaeelOM

Soz. N Leeds?

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 12:37:04 +0000

Sorry I've not been around much...been away for the last few days. Was due to have a whole week away but my mate found me a Leeds Fest ticket for 170. Bargain.

Anyone else going? Loki? Oh and one more thing.............YSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. The FUCKING Prodigy.

That is all.

Gerry Mo, Sidxrules, Liam Rice?

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:21:36 +0000

Has anybody played with any of these guys yet?

Final Nail In The Coffin...................

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:13:23 +0000

http://www.joystiq.com/2009/06/27/obsidian-confirms-the-cancellation-of-aliens-rpg/

2 Girls 1 Cup Reactions

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:22:13 +0000

Wqpq3tpy9Ug

never scare a black man revisited

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:11:25 +0000

BFwqSJtSnb8

TRULY AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:23:23 +0000

Playing this Album to death at the moment..............

James - The Best Of
http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_the_best_of.jpg

Laid is one of my fave tracks
Ol-KrTTta4g

and the truly spine tingling Machester performace of Sit Down
qGmhLoyZAe0

and the amazing Born Of Frustration
crZxRIYchjQ

She's a Star
rB5EevdTQrQ

Say Something
E9SrLNlLLTA

Out To Get You
nCgp0GHlxxw

Come Home
XK3anHOjqjE

sorry I could go on and on

Simply Amazing!!!!!!

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:38:39 +0000

YEi7GPkxfsE

soioqrYorq4

Coli Hasnt Got A Spoon!?

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:35:13 +0000

HQ7EPVQXUM8

Asda Sale !!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 08:53:54 +0000

just got a few games from Asda as they were on sale ish

Bigs 2 (Baseball) I think thats the name 15.00
wrestlemania 18.00
Call of Juarez: Bound In Blood 25.00

also saw cod 5 @ 25.00 and cod 4 @ 34.00

also popped in game and pre ordered cod 6, they are doing a midnight launch

Events

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 21:26:49 +0000

me and communist have both read F.A.O vamp and are truly disgusted by the r.i.p section , we beleive this has gone way to far now and are disturbed at how far he will go , were both wanting to return if you allow us , we see his actions gogin against all purpose of xbl its just plain wrong ...

joker

First Band You Saw

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:11:23 +0000

Mine was The Vapors in 1980 aged 13,
pogoing for all my worth in a pvc jacket.

KRbtFnnjzdI

Random

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:51:47 +0000

random post to get my 1200

The Devils In The Sky!!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:07:45 +0000

Link

Watch Out For The Kid Peeing On Your Shoes!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:57:24 +0000

Video

Would You Rather?.....

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:07:07 +0000

This is a game for all you sicko's out there.. you start by saying would you rather.. then give an example of something, then we all have to think what we would rather do and we HAD to do one of them.

The best bit about this game and most kudos goes to the one who thinks od the worst/grosses/dirtiest one.

I'll start..

Would you rather, shag a man in private no one needs to find out, or shag a sheep in the middle of the high street in your town/city? What would you do!? you have to do one!

Good Morning

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:17:53 +0000

Morning Guys

(Gotta get the Post Count Up)

How are we all today?

Gerry mo & smugbenjewman

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:53:54 +0000

can everyone add Gerry mo to there friends list as he has just signed up, must admit to being a little bit cautious after recent events however he has a valid gamertag and he has also sent me a friends request so he is not fake is he a friend of anyones ???

smugbenjewman has also signed up again he has a vaild gamertag but has not sent me a friends request yet ????

Last Night

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:01:27 +0000

Cheers guys had a few good games as well as some shockers and to come top on Bog with quality of our team was an absolute miracle

Yeah Me !!!!!!!!!!

[align=center] http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled_1250238669_586013.jpg

UK-A like a phoenix rising from the ashes[/align]

Lovely Praise

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:33:11 +0000

An old saying one of my mates came up with for when his Mrs has the decorators in..

If the river runs red, take the dirt track instead lol

ip3

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 08:26:01 +0000

ip3

Gran Torino

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 20:32:44 +0000

Clint Eastwood ends his acting and directing career with a bang. Just watched this, and is defo worth watching. Been a fan of Eastwood all my life, and this is prob his best work. (apart from Dirty Harry and HeartBreak Ridge)

gN-67B8tI9E

maBJzJgYjto

LtUH11e0PEE

God Vs Satan

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 18:47:59 +0000

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And so they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities ofsalt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that! his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiacarrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Or One Of These For Mw2

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:03:57 +0000

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens
at the windshields of airliners and military jets, all travelling at maximum
velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with
airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their
new high-speed trains.

Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the
American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers watched in shock
as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof
shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console,
snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall
of the cabin.

The horrified engineers sent Rolls Royce the film of the
disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the
windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo
"Defrost the chicken."

About Time I Said Hello

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:48:10 +0000

Right ya bunch 'o' Bastards!!! Thought it was well over due that I came (snigger) online and said an official 'Hello'.

Hello

I gotta get one of these !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:47:35 +0000

1C-Bxifv2Pk

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

test1

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:53:50 +0000

test 1

loving this song at the moment !!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:10:01 +0000

wmkcwoomOco

Site Closing Down

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:05:04 +0000

Thats right it's time to close the site down.................... only for a few hours while I modify some of the core files, after all the account tampering and shenanigans of the past week I am upgrading the IP tracker / blocker anybody caught doing something dodgy will be added to an IP Public Blacklist which is used in most forums and websites. I expect to be down most of the afternoon.

ip2

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:59:40 +0000

ip2

ip1

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:59:02 +0000

ip1

Peace In Our Time.

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:14:37 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_7__42301054_churchill_v_sign_416.jpg

(I know it was Chamberlain who said it....But it works I think?) Lol

Uk-A Youth

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:05:24 +0000

heres 1 to add to the ranks,ever wondered what that babbling noise is coming from my mic??or the odd cry or high pitched laughter,well here he is http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_22_uk_y.jpg

Clan

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:46:19 +0000

am i to assume i cant log on because i have set up an account on Vamps website???

Register

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:47:59 +0000

nick smugbenjewman has tried to register but it is just sayin gone but not forgoten or sumat like that

Smugbenjewman

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:47:38 +0000

nick ben has tried to post but says it won`t let him so here is his email boliver391@googlemail.com

New Members

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:18:40 +0000

Was playing a few games last night and there was someobody in the lobby called Teddybearpickers or something like that..When did he join the clan

The Zombie Army Presents COD4 Summer Bash

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:48:55 +0000

hi sorry for posting another thread but I had no other way to contact you guys. YOu have registered in the tournament and we need team players and subs spots filled in. this is also just to let you know that this tournament is now a 8 clan tournament. 1 spots remains for a clan to register. So I will be visiting later on the week and posting the link to the brackets in another thread probably on this Thursday.
Cheers

Challenge

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:44:50 +0000

Hey Guys,

I represent the =DEA= COD4 clan.

Would you like to consider a clan battle with us? Our server or yours...

Please check us out and get back to me if you are interested !

We play for fun and dont mind if we lose...we are a good bunch of guys n girls as long as the game is fair. We have competition PB on our servers and expect the equivalent on your servers.

Hope to hear from you soon.

You can get in touch through this email address: DEAtheMatrix at gmail dot com

Regards,

=DEA=Rayzor

More Songs

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:59:59 +0000

For those who had a look before I've been hard at work ( ) on Ableton Live trying to make some more Dubstep tunes....

New ones are...

Battery
Cayley
Jump

....and I mean it tell me if you think they're shit.

Jump is probs the best I think.

www.myspace.com/colicabtrax

Tune!!!!

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:36:23 +0000

dWQukgO1X6c

Highest Score?

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 09:22:08 +0000

I had a really good game earlier tonight and got my highest ever score of 60 - 24 on HCHQ.

I was using the following set-up:

MP5 rds
Deagle
Bando
SOH
Dead Silence

I have seen all of us do very well in different matches, so what's your best score?

In The News Today...

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 23:02:47 +0000

Two news links I think people may be interested in:

1. Games critise cost of MW2

2. Broadband rates 'not up to speed'

Back From Ibiza With The Flllluuuuuu Pig.com! ???

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 08:36:44 +0000

Well, had an AMAZING TIME IN IBIZA (which i knew i would) got back last wed but been ill since friday so im kinda off the xbox live till im better.....ill write more later

snot anyone?

Scouse Vs Leeds Let The Battle Commence He He He He

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:54:15 +0000

As a scouser myself felt we had to respond in kind.......

Q. What's the difference between a Leeds fan and a coconut?
A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit.

Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and Leeds football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!

Q: What has 70,000 arms and an IQ of 170
A: Elland road every other Saturday.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to anyone from Leeds?
A: It saves time

Q: What do you call a Leeds fan in a 2 bedroomed Semi?
A: A burglar

Letter To God

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:51:38 +0000

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address or postcode. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had 100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is my birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope..
Please help me?
Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
A few days later, another letter came addressed to God and in the same hand. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was 4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely,
Edna

SCOUSE

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:34:11 +0000

Due to the invasion of scousers into the clan recently and steven gerrards latest antics..
i thought we could have a laugh on their behalf, Sorry lads!

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_39_liverpool_2003.jpg

Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"

Q. Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
A. Because there's nothing worth shitting on.

A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog's neck and strangled it until it was dead. A passing reporter commented: that was fucking fantastic how you saved that old dears life!, I have to write a story about this, how about the headline - Manchester United fan saves granny's life?, "i'm not a Utd fan" replied the bloke. "well how about Man City fan saves granny's life"? said the reporter. "I'm not a City fan either" siad our hero, " I'm from Liverpool". "Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow" said the reporter. The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline - SCOUSE BASTARD KILLS FAMILY PET!!

Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
A: What are you looking at?

Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch" answers a scouser.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three scousers cram into the toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, on the return trip, the Americans decide to copy the scousers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the scousers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch" says a scouser.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a toilet and the three scousers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the scousers leaves his toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Americans are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

Fable 2 Cash Injection

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:16:47 +0000

This works better when you are renting out a few or more properties. Firstly make sure xbox live is disconnected. (Very important, as when you log into xbox live it will always show current time and year.)

Change the year on your xbox, max year is 2025, so increased from 2009, this will give you 16 yrs rent. load your game up and you should have an injection of cash. Repeat as needed, and enjoy your new wealth.

M.I.A Taylor

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:15:58 +0000

not seen taylor around now for yonks,wonder how he's getting on??

GHOSTBUSTERS Angry Video Game Nerd

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:27:58 +0000

PART 1
TLVGmvmNitg

PART 2
qF2snKCmqJo

PART 3
kZfq-IPlLF8

NINTENDO RULE THE FUCKIN WORLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny as fook

The WGL: COD:WAW League Invite

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:28:42 +0000

I would like to take this opportunity to invite your clan to a new COD:WAW 5v5 clan league. The WGL is a league that is for friendly clans who want to compete in a fair, friendly but competitive environment against other like minded clans.

What are the modes? Settings? of The WGL
The WGL is a league based competition were everyone plays everyone once at the best of 5 maps with the winning team getting 3 points. At the end of the season the top 8 teams will qualify for the play-offs where a straight knockout tournament will commence.

The modes that will be used will be 1xTDM 1xTDM HC, 1xDOM,1XS&D HC and the 5th and deciding mode will change every week. Each team will host a fixture one week and then be hosted the following week.

To enter a team you simply need to enter a squad of 5 players minimum and 10 players maximum (each squad player must sign-up on The WGL site as well so they can be added to the roster. Clans must also be able to play 1 match (best of 5) a week. Each clan may enter two teams if they wish.

This is just a brief description to give you an idea what The WGL is all about. To read the full rules and settings, ask any questions and more importantly SIGN UP! head to our offical site.

We would really like to see your clan take part in this upcoming league so please visit w w w .thewgl.co.uk and sign up.

Thanks
The Admins
w w w .thewgl.co.uk

Cowboys

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:27:28 +0000

2 cowboys are talkin & one asks the other,"whats ur favourite position"? "i dnt really know," says the other, "whats yours?" "i lyk the rodeo position",replies da first guy. "wots that?" asks the 2nd cowboy. "well"says the first, "u get ur mrs on all fours an take her frm behind,then reach round,cup her breasts & say "wow, these feel jus lyk ur sistas!" then u jus hang on as long as u can!"

The Power Glove The Angry Video Game Nerd

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:00:53 +0000

makes me laugh as I used to have one of these(back in the day)

and yes it was shocking

MYDuy7wM8Gk

What is a bastard ????

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:45:44 +0000

Quite often we ask ourselves hard to answer questions, like,

"What is a bastard?"

In the photo attached, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad in the middle of a deactivation.

The guy behind him, well, he's a bastard.

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_bastard.jpg

Two Gay Men Decide To Have A Baby

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:13:19 +0000

Two gay men decide to have a baby.

They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.

Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other.

"All these unhappy babies ... and yet our baby is so happy.

This just proves the superiority of gay love!"

The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the thermometer out of his arse!"

Caption Contest !

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:09:51 +0000

" Now where did I put that Bigmac "

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_80612449.jpg

Why Spetnatz Will Never Beat The SAS! Qui Audet Adipiscitur

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 08:02:21 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_41_russian_yoga_10.jpg

KZ

WHY

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:48:08 +0000

Why .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Why .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:07:19 +0000

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/women aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story..

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

According to the U.S. Census Bureau:
190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and
1 poor soul is reading emails.

You hang in there sunshine!!!!

The Dying Priest

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:51:03 +0000

In London an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer before I die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to Parliament and waited for a response.

Soon the word arrived; Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Allister Darling would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Gordon commented to Allister, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me re-elected Prime Minister. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT". Allister agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Gordon's hand in his right hand and Allister's hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Gordon Brown spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."

"Amen", said Gordon. "Amen", said Allister.

The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."

Adverts

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:29:55 +0000

XQcVllWpwGs

Waddington?

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:44:19 +0000

Am I sad? lol Love Air Shows!!! Anyone else into this kind of stuff? Still thinking about joining the RAF.........................

........As a Drummer!!!!

Get paid 18,000 a year for playing the drums in London!! LOL Cop out.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWoooooaahh!! Im Going To Ibiza!!!!

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:07:27 +0000

Be back in about a week......(some form of alchohol poisoning!) packed too much, not enough cash and no sleep!! CANT WAIT!!!!!!

IPOD LOADED WITH EVERYTHING IVE GOT!! BRING ON THE BEACH AND CLUBS!!!!!

SEE YOU ALL IN A WEEK!!!!

Amazing Holes....

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:44:19 +0000

1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_1.jpg

Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097-meter-deep mine yielded over three tons of diamonds before being closed.

2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_2.jpg

This is the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second.

A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir.

3. Great Blue Hole , Belize

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_3.jpg

This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world but none as stunning as this one.

4. Sinkhole in Guatemala

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_4.jpg

This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred February 2007 in Guatemala . It swallowed two dozen homes and killed at least thirty people.

5. This is the famous Rat Hole.

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_5.jpg

It is capable of swallowing Millions of Tax Payers Money annually, never to be heard from again! It is reputed to contain at least 600 arse "holes".

Oh and this is Wigan

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_wigan_grand_arcade_ba05679.jpg

another Hole and I should know

Micheal Jackson

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:10:50 +0000

they have decided not 2 bury or cremate micheal jackson. instead he is going to b recycled and made into lego so kids can still play with him.

Eddie Izzard

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:15:23 +0000

He may not be to everyones taste, but i think he's a funny fooker!

pAOLOGGftTY

fbOC0uoKYtU

b4iYigkyVeQ

Myspace

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:31:02 +0000

Recently made a myspace for a few songs I've been working on. Its Dubstep, breaks and Drum n Bass mainly (or its gonna be as theres only 1 track on there now).

Not sure if theres anyone out there that likes Dubstep but could you tell me if its shit and I'm barking up the wrong tree?

www.myspace.com/colicabtrax

Cheers.

Uni Band Video.

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:51:40 +0000

Had a "gig" at uni about a month ago, I'm the giant playing drums at the back.

sfvSfXiyRdo

Wrong Answer

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:47:24 +0000

WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!

WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:

Of course I do.

WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:

Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND:

Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:
- silence - -

HUSBAND:
F * ck....

Challenge From Carry On Gaming

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:51:50 +0000

Hey guys, I was wondering if your up for a match on either the 5th or 6th July.

Settings:
5v5 or 6v6
Gametypes: X3 Hardcore Search & Destroy, X3 Hardcore Headquarters
Best of 5 Maps
Hardcore Settings
Points: 4 per round
Noobtubes / RPG's allowed
Decider: X1 Hardcore Domination

Australian Talking Clock

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:58:58 +0000

Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night,a drunk Maori led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked

'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' he drunkenly replied.

'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'

'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'

'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.

'Just watch' he said.

He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.

His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, a Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

'For f*#k's sake, you stupid b*ast*rd. It's ten past three in the f***ing morning !!!'

Australian Police Test

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:57:24 +0000

An Australian man is seeking to join the Police force

The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:

"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit. "

"Why the rabbit?"

"I like your attitude!" says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

Wish British Airways Did This!

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:42:04 +0000

American but funny...

Health Warning......................

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:17:30 +0000

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_bubble.jpg

Challenge From CNc (CoD4)

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:01:07 +0000

We the newly formed Cosa Nostra Clan would like to challenge UK-A to a friendly match of CoD4

>>>Saturday July 4th<<
>>>>>8:30 GMT<<<<<

Game modes and map choice rotate (we choose mode and map the you choose and so on)
No Noob Tubes
No Glitching

Please post here if you accept our challenge and our proposed time and date

When accepted i will post on our site

Thank you and we look forward to a friendly match

Facebook Gangsta

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:52:24 +0000

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Colour Test Trick!!

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:07:12 +0000

Trick Color Test

i got a lame 25%

http://www.slinkycity.com/trick-color-test.html

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:05:26 +0000

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint .

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled_1246361440_510228.jpg

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled2_1246361500_543089.jpg

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled3.jpg

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled4.jpg

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled5.jpg

'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

http://www.uk-alliance.com/files/posted_images/user_3_untitled6.jpg

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude....
How much water did you drink!?'

I'm Going To Buy A PS3

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 17:25:03 +0000

When my student loan comes through in September i'm going to buy a PS3!!!!! lol I can't wait.

Look at this.

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256 player Call Of Duty, with planes, tanks, heli's, air strikes. That you can drive. It looks amazing.

GHOSTBUSTERS!!

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:28:48 +0000

another game im really looking forward to!!!!! looks great, as i grew up with these films im more excited about this then gtshittya.........anybody who knows the films (and if you dont -shame on u!) in an interview with the developers, you know 'crossing the streams' is bad, well in the game they wanted to make it so if you crossed the streams you got 3 RED LIGHTS ON YOUR XBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL BASTARDS!!!!!!! that would rock!! unfortunatly they weren't allowed

Micheal Jackson

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:46:59 +0000

whats the difference between micheal jackson and sir alex furguson.... alex furguson can play giggs in august.

Micheal Jackson

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:40:51 +0000

rumour has it he did manage to whisper a few words to the paramedics ... "put me on the childrens ward."

British Rail

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:38:55 +0000

british rail are full of shit! the sign on the platform said that if i stood too close to the edge, i might get sucked off... four f***ing hours i wasted today!!!

Two vicars on Countdown, what could go wrong?

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:57:07 +0000

Two vicars on Countdown, what could go wrong?

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Match?

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:00:04 +0000

hay throw us a challenge for cod4
we have a new set of recruits in the cod4 team due to our old cod4 team leaving us

come post a challenge on our site
wont let me leave the link but u know what it is im sure
thanks
www xglclan co.uk

Why Can't I Get A Job ????

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:52:25 +0000

Transformers 2 : Revenge Of The Fallen

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:49:08 +0000

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Saw an advert for this before Wolverine the other night. Looks wicked

UFC -The Ultimate Fighter� Team USA Vs Team UK FINALE

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:09:02 +0000

Cracking Event, did anyone else stay up and watch it?

Just incase anyone is watching it tonight instead i've spoilered the results below

Spoiler

Ronaldo

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:24:39 +0000

it was inevitable that ronaldo would follow kaka to real madrid as its common knowledge that getting a good brazilian is followed by an irritating c***!

Cosmic55

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:21:12 +0000

played a few games last night with cosmic55,seems pretty good

Prototype

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:48:05 +0000

Especially for you kaiser

Just got this yesterday, really liked the idea of been able to consume and absorb any living person.
Only played an hour but my thoughts...

The basic story of the game is a goverment experiment gone wrong and disease has spread over new york, somehow you (alex mercer) have got these supernatural powers!

Kinda max payne-ish where your having to discover your past and whats happened to you.

Very like crackdown climbing, jumping buildings etc (running seems to be involved in the game alot)

Alot of button bashing involved when in fight (i hate button bashing)

I wouldnt advise buying it as i think i will be trrading it for FN4! Maybe rent if u fancy it.